Posted on November 1, 2018
When I was typing the title to this I cringed a little. Mostly because I actually feel the need to title something to basically encourage kindness in our world. When we all know, that should come naturally and quite frankly it should be easy.
However, I don’t even like saying it but the world is a mean place now. It’s filled with racism which creates negative diversity. It is drowning in bullying, which can lead to multiple things such as adolescent suicide. Even adult suicide. Which leads me to things like depression, anxiety, fear, doubt, failed relationships, cheating, giving up amongst all the other roadblocks it has allowed us to believe. The hatred and the judging in the world have lead us to believe so many things. That is actually, simply as irrelevant as the need for things like fingernails or even a worse example could be having flavored water. Now I know you are probably like, what in the hell type of analogy is that?! Ha! I get it. Maybe it wasn’t the wittiest of analogies. But, I am sure you got my drift.
The mean and ugly is irrelevant.
Now, currently, the Hot book to read is, “Girl Wash your Face” By Rachel Hollis. She is an impeccable writer. Truth! So I have been reading this book for about a week in my free time I have or the multitasking that will allow me to read and do whatever else I am doing. In the book, she talks about Perspective and the relevance of it. How it can literally alter and change, basically everything. Which REALLY resonated with me. I love the idea of turning a negative into a positive. My husband is always so astounded with my comebacks and solutions. Almost like he wants me to join in sometimes on the grouch but I’m like, nope. Here is a better way to see that situation. I have no idea why its just how I am wired. Sometimes I know it can annoy people but, I like to believe that there are a lot of people that enjoy company like me. Even tho my husband loves spending his time with me I know that my overly positive attitude can sometimes be annoying. That’s okay. Because he knows who he married. ❤ Ha!
Back to Perspective! So when I was talking about all the bad the world has and how we easily get sucked into it. Why is it so much easier to be pissed or negative? Why is it so much easier to complain and bicker with people? Why don’t we just converse and let it end positively with different views? Benefit from it! Having perspective from other minds, the point of views and experiences is beautiful. I truly believe that type of interaction is a huge part of life. Sharing! Conversing! Breaking Bread for peat’s sake.
As much as the world is filled with Shit and more Shit. We shouldn’t sit around and Join the Shit wagon! If anything that thing stinks! Run the other way. Run so fast that the breeze from running on your face allows the fresh air to flow thru your senses and wake you the hell up! I mean thinking all the time that the World is filled with bad is like, having a really bad year and just grabbing a tent, pitching it up and hanging out in March forever. I mean, you get my drift right?
Start changing your perspective! You can be aware of the shit going on in the world and not let it run your life. Not let it be the topic of every conversation. Don’t let it stop you or be an excuse to not move forward or get further in whatever the hell you are wanting to do! I am a someone who suffers from Anxiety I know this is not an easy transition. But it is incredibly possible and that is something I can work with. Be intentional with what you want to see. What you want to be.
For example, if you are at the park and you are taking a walk alone enjoying the sights and the beauty of nature. When all of a sudden you step in a pile of dog shit. Yup! Now what? You are probably pissed, grossed out and asking why the fuck the owner didn’t clean this up. Stop complaining. Right now. That is when you remind yourself, dogs shit too. Now go brush your foot off in some of mother natures grass, move on and wash your kicks when you get home. Tomorrows a new day, watch where you are going. Ha!
Do you see tho? See how you can actually alter your perspective? If you want, you can see the good and just because something big or little bad happens or clouds your beautiful view. Does not mean you can’t just brush it off and move on. NOBODY made the rule that you HAVE to complain when things aren’t happening to perfection. So why do we? Why can’t we laugh things off? Why do we get so upset when things don’t go our way? Maybe after working really hard for a position at work or a part in the school play. Don’t blame frustration, because that is something we can manage. Whatever it is, I encourage you to just simply try to change your perspective when some sort of shitty thing happens.
Because like I said, as much as there is bad and ugly in the world. There is actually more undiscovered beauty in the world we haven’t even seen or experienced that exceeds the amount of ugly.
I encourage you to seek and find it. Whatever way it comes and share it with the world. We need more good added. Be the good. ❤
X O X O
Posted on October 27, 2018
Start and Stop. Start and Stop. Start and Stop. On repeat my whole life.
You see I have this thing inside of me. No, not literally like some sort of Alien movie from the 80’s. But, I mean spiritually. I mean the type of thing that burns inside of your being and won’t go away no matter how hard you try.
Well, I tried being an employee my whole life. I suck at it. I mean in a sense I would do my job and care just enough to make me humane. But, I HATED it so much, that I would quit at any given time and start again somewhere else. It was AWFUL. The worst habit and seriously irresponsible. I just couldn’t bring myself to actually take orders from some stranger, some regular joe and quite frankly I just couldn’t conform. I am comfortable sharing with you that, I am not wired to do things normally. Trust me when I say, it wasn’t something that added spark to my habits.
I really am not sure where it all started or why the habit was created in the first place. I guess if I made a WILD accusation it would be that I simply was allowed. I was given the FREE WILL to make my own choices at a younger age than I probably should have. However, I am grateful it all is the way it is. Because I like to believe I turned out pretty good. Now I am not perfect. Still at 32 years young I am working on myself and being a better person every day.
Now, just because I can’t seem to narrow down the exacts on why I have continuously allowed myself even as a full grown adult. ( By the way, what really makes us “Grown Adults?”)
Either way, I may have allowed it over and over. Creating a monster in my life. I woke up one morning recently and just said, no. No more! No more will I allow myself to do the things that aren’t going to LAUNCH me into the direction I actually WANT to be.
I mean why in the world do we do this? Why would I do this to myself? Literally being my own roadblock to basically anything successful for myself. Every single time I have EVER started something that I was good at, when I would actually apply myself. We all know there are people in the world that can do things and just naturally do them well. The trick is sticking them out and becoming awesome at them! Which I have failed to do. This is not to be boastful or anything like that. But, I am one of those people. I do things well when I do them and do them right. I do things properly and organized when I apply myself and learn. I can accomplish almost any deadline when I am given one.
So, Why am I not successful in any of the things I started? We obviously know the answer to this. I QUIT. I STOPPED. I SIMPLY GAVE UP. When things got to be too much of an obstacle, to hard juggling mom life and learning life, the excuse that I was tired, the gross things I would come up with and tell myself blow my mind.
Things like, “No one reads it anyways Ashley. Why bother?” Or things like, “Don’t waste your time trying, you give up anyway.”
I mean you guys I have literally trained my own self-conscious thru bad habits that I am not worth finishing what I start. That just because I have started and stopped, it would not matter if I did it again. I mean no one would even care or question me or simply just call me out. Sometimes people just need a rude awakening. But, it’s not right to expect someone else to be that for you. So I thought if I couldn’t find it in myself and I couldn’t expect it then I would just give up. I mean that is really sad. It’s even sadder to type it and admit it. My self-worth has been lost but I haven’t.
I know that I carry value, I know that I can accomplish what I set out to do. I know that it is no one’s responsibility to push me in the direction of my goals and dreams. Only I can do that. Only I have the Launch button. Only I have my brain, my personality, and my feelings and thoughts. There is only one me that can start what I want to start. It is just up to me to not stop.
For some reason, the wake-up call I had recently was this.
It was a normal morning and Gracie and I had already had breakfast and we were ready for our day. No plans and no money. Living on one income isn’t impossible, just trying and sometimes can mundane. So, we pulled out some toys, watercolors and some of the kitchen utensils. Sat at the smaller kitchen table and we played. We painted and we laughed and danced to our absolute favorite Ed Sheeran Song, Sing. For a moment as the song was over and there was a transition in literally seconds to the next song. Gracie glanced at me deeply and I stared back at her and we smiled. That was it. That moment I made a choice. That glance, that dead eye stare of PURE LOVE. I almost was like this brain alteration and I had no control. I just changed.
The power of Love is Immense.
Its SO BIG, It helps Bad Habits Die a little Easier…
Posted on March 23, 2018
Day One -Another busted lip
12-4-17 (FIRST EVER WRITTEN BLOG)
Started the day at 6:30 am on the couch.
See guys, when you have a toddler who is seriously as stubborn as a bull, and just won’t give in to NOT co-sleeping. The results are that Ryan (husband) and I, now take turns co-sleeping. That’s real talk. We take turns on our VERY uncomfortable couch, just so we can get uninterrupted sleep. Still uncomfortable. But, not interrupted. (Pick your battles guys)
Gracie was still asleep and we forgot to set the camera up facing the bed so that I wouldn’t have to do exactly what I had to do. Which was go downstairs, and lay in the bed with her (awake) until she woke up.(Safety first )
Dad leaves at 7:15 am.
Gracie finally wakes at 7:30 am.
This is a relief in a way, you guys. Because I hate, hate laying around when I’m wide awake. Anyone else?
I know, I should take advantage of the “resting” moments. But that’s just not me.
Breakfast happening by 8 am. Bath time shortly after and then as 9:30 am rolls around, Gracie and I are finding ourselves bored, and having the 4 wall syndrome. (Stuck in a House)
So, we packed up and went too, grandmas. ❤️ (thank god she’s down the street)
As I write this, I am laughing because no one is following me yet and so I sorta feel like I am just basically journaling to myself.
Anyways, back too subject.
10:30 am and we are headed back home. Nice visit. Yeah, trips are normally short with a toddler. I don’t make the rules. The toddler does apparently.
Just kidding. I needed a shower. (Which I haven’t gotten still. it’s 2:48 pm) (BIG SIGH)
12:25 pm Gracie takes her nap of the day. Well, we are hoping for ONE NAP. But she makes the rules. Duh.
Wakes up at 1:47 pm.
Kid, you did not sleep long enough. I say that with love. She just needs rest.
Is anyone else working on nap transition, with a heavy dose of multiple molars popping? Anyone??
Lunch. blah blah. Turkey dogs and Strawberries. Yeah, I was an overachiever today.
But hey, I did make an excellent breakfast! I assure you. Oh, and dinners in the crockpot. (The machine that cooks for you. Such a beautiful invention)
3:02 pm, Gracie is doing work. She does this thing where she hides when she is going poop.
Well, she thinks she is hiding but then I can see her through the curtains. She thinks it is funny to wrap around inside the drapes. It is not funny. At least she cannot know it is. Ha Ha.
Okay, moving on.
￼Seriously will never understand why toddler poop smells like a LEGIT out-house. Like how does it resemble SO well?! Lmao
So Gracie and I are just waiting for Daddy to get home from work. Another 45 minutes or so until we get to hang. She and I decided that snap chat would be fun. (Well I did)
4: 15 pm and daddy’s home! Time to get dinner going! Thank you crock pot!
To be continued after stuffing my face.
Oh my Lord that was SO good.
Okay, so routine puts us at 5:20 currently and it’s pajama time for Gracie.
Ryan and I are hoping too fit in at least one of our shows tonight.
Shoot, a reminder just was given to me. I have to go set up the camera for the morning. (Mom Brain) HERE I GO…
Shoot the Christmas lights also need hung up in the front window. Do chores ever end as an adult? Let alone a parent?
The camera is up! 6: 06 pm what a fast chore.
Window lights are on hold until tomorrow. For now some good ol family time.
Good night everyone.
Thanks for reading!
Awesome yet unfortunate last-minute input. Gracie just fell into the laundry basket and busted her top lip.
Mind you, this is the second time. She just busted her lip last week hitting the coffee table. (Which is now gone!)
Lord help me.
BY GRACE THROUGH FAITH
journey to the little things