Posted on November 29, 2018
Yeah, me too.
Reality check. If snapping your finger would solve something without the effort behind it, we would never have a bad day of sex again. Ha! Which we know everyone has bad days.
The inside giggle I am experiencing is so worth that comment.
The other day I was hanging with Gracie, my daughter. She was running around with this toy I bought her, seriously you guys I think I purchased it at the dollar store. It lights up looking like a magic wand changing colors.
She runs around with it waving it as if she is solving all her problems. Yelling and rambling to her stuffed animals as if she is saving the world.
I sat back and gazed at the imagination and creativity she was experiencing.
In that very moment I also was thinking about all the things I still needed to get done that day. I’m sure if you are a parent you can relate with the never ending list of to-do’s.
Literally 6 loads of clothes were just done to simply catch up. Went downstairs to realize there are 2 new loads to be washed. Sick household calls for multiple loads of laundry.
So, while sitting there pondering about what is next and what is priority, I began to daydream…
Could you picture if every single person in the world was gifted a magic wand? Perhaps we all would have different abilities and some shared. But, there would only be good done with the wands.
Could you imagine?
As a parent who stays home with the little one I tend to gravitate towards analogies based off that. Being a mom.
Think about this, if you are a parent then you will totally vibe with what I am gonna say.
Getting up in the morning and enjoying the morning; Getting up and relishing in the love and cuddles with the littles ones; Getting up and perhaps making that super delicious breakfast for the family because, you have the extra energy.
How about after breakfast is done, so are the dishes.
What if that little magic wand changed all those poopy diapers? What if you just had the choice to change which ones you wanted?
Could you imagine?
I imagine waking up and actually not rushing. Not needing to feel like I am on a time limit because the list of things to get done are endless and tiring. I imagine having a 5 star restaurant meal for every single time dinner is served for the family.
Could you imagine?
Yes, that will be repeated numerous times because it should be engraved into our brains that it is okay to NOT want to do all the things all the time.
We are human my friends. You and all of us have got to stop beating ourselves up because we don’t get all the things done.
The things can wait as we prioritize the more important tasks. Organize your list and don’t apply pressure for the small things.
Just because it may not be realistic and exist only merely in fairy tales. I will hold onto the magic that could be possible. Right?!
Because what is life without imagination?
Well, no life at all if you ask me. Dream the dreams that are so crazy they would be in fairy tales.
Dream dreams that occur in the middle of your day and not just in your sleep.
Dream dreams that will carry you thru your day and allow you to use your imagination on, what that magic wand is capable of.
Then, I want you to put your hands out and realize something important.
Those two hands your holding in front of you. Yes, all those 10 fingers and beautifully made hands.
Those are uniquely made, those are not copies, they are not too old or too young and by golly they are not incapable of magic.
Your two hands are capable of much more than magic. They are capable of creating in reality.
You posses a lot at the fingertips of your hands. You can accomplish more than you think. Even tho the tasks seem endless and tiring. They wont last forever.
The sink will be less full of dishes, the house will be clean more often, less to pick up, there will soon enough only be one bed in the house to make and before you blink, all those tasks will be missed.
The chores of a parent with one or multiple children are endless. But if I were to do one thing before I close it is this, to encourage you to leave here and know that you do posses the ability to get it all done.
However, I assure you the moment spent doing something other than a task. Is a memory made instead of a dirty dish cleaned.
Always weigh out your end result for your invested time.
I’d have to say my time spent giving love and worrying less about the tasks, fill my heart more than my never ending list ever could.
What about you do you tend to make too many demands of yourself?
Posted on October 27, 2018
Start and Stop. Start and Stop. Start and Stop. On repeat my whole life.
You see I have this thing inside of me. No, not literally like some sort of Alien movie from the 80’s. But, I mean spiritually. I mean the type of thing that burns inside of your being and won’t go away no matter how hard you try.
Well, I tried being an employee my whole life. I suck at it. I mean in a sense I would do my job and care just enough to make me humane. But, I HATED it so much, that I would quit at any given time and start again somewhere else. It was AWFUL. The worst habit and seriously irresponsible. I just couldn’t bring myself to actually take orders from some stranger, some regular joe and quite frankly I just couldn’t conform. I am comfortable sharing with you that, I am not wired to do things normally. Trust me when I say, it wasn’t something that added spark to my habits.
I really am not sure where it all started or why the habit was created in the first place. I guess if I made a WILD accusation it would be that I simply was allowed. I was given the FREE WILL to make my own choices at a younger age than I probably should have. However, I am grateful it all is the way it is. Because I like to believe I turned out pretty good. Now I am not perfect. Still at 32 years young I am working on myself and being a better person every day.
Now, just because I can’t seem to narrow down the exacts on why I have continuously allowed myself even as a full grown adult. ( By the way, what really makes us “Grown Adults?”)
Either way, I may have allowed it over and over. Creating a monster in my life. I woke up one morning recently and just said, no. No more! No more will I allow myself to do the things that aren’t going to LAUNCH me into the direction I actually WANT to be.
I mean why in the world do we do this? Why would I do this to myself? Literally being my own roadblock to basically anything successful for myself. Every single time I have EVER started something that I was good at, when I would actually apply myself. We all know there are people in the world that can do things and just naturally do them well. The trick is sticking them out and becoming awesome at them! Which I have failed to do. This is not to be boastful or anything like that. But, I am one of those people. I do things well when I do them and do them right. I do things properly and organized when I apply myself and learn. I can accomplish almost any deadline when I am given one.
So, Why am I not successful in any of the things I started? We obviously know the answer to this. I QUIT. I STOPPED. I SIMPLY GAVE UP. When things got to be too much of an obstacle, to hard juggling mom life and learning life, the excuse that I was tired, the gross things I would come up with and tell myself blow my mind.
Things like, “No one reads it anyways Ashley. Why bother?” Or things like, “Don’t waste your time trying, you give up anyway.”
I mean you guys I have literally trained my own self-conscious thru bad habits that I am not worth finishing what I start. That just because I have started and stopped, it would not matter if I did it again. I mean no one would even care or question me or simply just call me out. Sometimes people just need a rude awakening. But, it’s not right to expect someone else to be that for you. So I thought if I couldn’t find it in myself and I couldn’t expect it then I would just give up. I mean that is really sad. It’s even sadder to type it and admit it. My self-worth has been lost but I haven’t.
I know that I carry value, I know that I can accomplish what I set out to do. I know that it is no one’s responsibility to push me in the direction of my goals and dreams. Only I can do that. Only I have the Launch button. Only I have my brain, my personality, and my feelings and thoughts. There is only one me that can start what I want to start. It is just up to me to not stop.
For some reason, the wake-up call I had recently was this.
It was a normal morning and Gracie and I had already had breakfast and we were ready for our day. No plans and no money. Living on one income isn’t impossible, just trying and sometimes can mundane. So, we pulled out some toys, watercolors and some of the kitchen utensils. Sat at the smaller kitchen table and we played. We painted and we laughed and danced to our absolute favorite Ed Sheeran Song, Sing. For a moment as the song was over and there was a transition in literally seconds to the next song. Gracie glanced at me deeply and I stared back at her and we smiled. That was it. That moment I made a choice. That glance, that dead eye stare of PURE LOVE. I almost was like this brain alteration and I had no control. I just changed.
The power of Love is Immense.
Its SO BIG, It helps Bad Habits Die a little Easier…
Posted on April 10, 2018
There are days that I wake up and I feel like a total Winner before I have even taken on the day. There are also days that I wake up wishing that I was somewhere else. Does that make me a Bad Mom or Wife? Well, I guess that depends on who you are asking. But if you were to ask for my answer it would be a simple, No.
Wanting or wishing to be out of the normal, out of routine, something exciting, different. Right? Maybe you’re looking for a few shades of blue in the water, a sunset that would take your breath away or simply wake up to a fresh breakfast and squeezed juice. You know the ones they serve you in bed at those fancy resorts. The smell of ocean water, and warm feeling of the sun on your skin. I mean, I get it. I wish I could be there every single day. Sometimes alone, but most times with my Family.
See I used to let myself feel really bad for just wishing or wanting. The guilt I let live with me was unhealthy and not right. But it made me feel ungrateful to wish or want. Wishing I could have my husband home with us every day. Wanting every single 24 hours in a day to be smooth, fun, and full of laughter. Can you believe that we allow ourselves to feel bad for wanting or wishing for things? Its total nonsense why we allow ourselves to do that.
Wanting and Wishing for things will never diminish or demean the amount of love and gratefulness I have for my Life, my Family and the people I surround myself with. Nor will it for you. Gracie and my Husband are everything to me, and me wanting more or wishing for different does not change that or alter any feelings at all.
I share this with you today because I know that you might have had a day like this or moments of just pondering what life would be like if any given situation was different. I know that you daydream, and hope for more in life. I know that as Mom I can only speak from experience on how I have felt or things I have personally come to counter with.
But I know that regardless of you or me being different people, we are both still Moms. Which means the playing field is pretty stinking similar, and we tend to battle a lot of the same fights. The problem here is that we don’t know how to be teammates anymore. We have all become so incredibly competitive with one another that a lot of Moms feel like they cant win because we aren’t lifting each other up like we should be as teammates on the same field. So start slapping some ass and get the energy going! Ha Ha ( Lightening the Mood )
Why am I using an analogy similar to sports? I have no idea other than the fact that it resembles and is easily explained when used in these terms.
Every single day I am battling toys everywhere, dirty dishes, messy counters, bathrooms that need to be cleaned daily for some reason and I don’t know why but there are throw blankets everywhere! Now don’t get me wrong I am not interested in cleaning my house non stop. Even tho it seriously helps my sanity, it does not help my back. Plus I see Gracie watching me frantically trying to maintain the mess and it just always causes me to stop. Every single time. I look at her and see the little devious smile that just makes me giggle and run after her. The toys and everything else can wait because right now I am gonna chase my daughter and play.
I bet you thought I was just going to be negative this whole time. Well, rest assure here comes the positive stuff.
See through all the Madness and Mess I have finally discovered HOW to find the Magic and the Miracles. Its what I like to call the M&M vs M&M. I know I am sort of a weirdo and I hope you can love me anyway. Ha Ha.
Let me explain my thought process on this and why it is so cool how I came to figure this out.
Madness is simply put as crazy in my terms. For example, Ryan and I were chasing Gracie and playing around for a good 20 minutes or longer. We were laughing and yelling, throwing her bouncing ball and kicking the soccer ball around. If anyone were to have been a fly on the wall it would have looked like Madness. In those moments near the end, Gracie tripped and fell and started to cry. Ryan and I, of course, went to her and hugged her tight, told her it was okay and she was tough like a bear! The Magic at the moment when she looked at us when we were comforting her was absolutely priceless and I will never forget that look.
My point in that is no matter what the situation good or bad, there is always GOOD. Always. Sometimes it is just more challenging to find it or grasp it properly. Don’t worry you’ll get this down and once you can successfully turn your Madness into Magic, share it with us here.
Now a little story of me finding Miracles in Messes. Gracie was about a year old and we started really introducing a lot of different and new foods. At first, as we know that is really tough just finding the right stuff, knowing if its safe, is it too big or too small, are they going to allergic or the worst one is, will they choke. I am still like that today!
Gracie would continuously throw her food EVERYWHERE! I mean we had no idea what we were doing in this sense or what we should allow. So we went with it and cleaned it up but not without frustration and just being upset in general that she wouldn’t eat it or she would waste the food. I mean we are only human and we were new to it all. Well after about a month of this struggle and just so much wasted energy we gave her spaghetti…
10 Minutes later we now had an Oompa Loompa as a child. HAHA! I mean this moment was pure bliss! We were dying laughing and as you can see in the picture, she was pretty happy with herself. So this is the moment I had clarity that no matter the Mess there is always moments of Miracles! We had a miracle that moment. She had a new found love for a type of food, we won finally with some grub and she was SO happy and not throwing her food! It was a wonderful dinner and time of lesson.
So those are my two reasons why I can find basically the good in the bad. We all have to find our own ways to dance thru life and organize our thoughts. Its just important to handle the trips in dancing like a professional would and that we filter our thoughts to keep them positive.
Attitude is 80% of the day when only 10% is affected by your work.
I hope you found some clarity here today and maybe I was able to share a laugh. Comment below with any thoughts or input you’d like to share! Thanks for reading.
Posted on April 6, 2018
This really is not a question I am new to asking myself. I remember when I was probably roughly 27 or so, I was at somewhat of a fork in the road. Was I going to continue the night job or move on and transition into a day job? That was big for me because bartending was such a part of me and what I did on a day to day basis. It became apart of my personality, my jokes and the way I had my routine. Everything revolved around being a bartender and what that took. It was not just going to work, clock in and say goodbye. No. See, in the bar scene when you want to work and make that type of money. You gotta hustle. Word of mouth, make friends, go out all the time, and gab to everyone about where you pour and the location of the party. Handing out flyers for events when you had some big thing happening or specials on drinks. I mean the list goes on. Let alone one point in my life I was working the bar for “Country Night.” The owner’s vision was the coyote ugly type stuff, where he would want all the girls to get up on the bar and dance to certain songs. Well, because I was one of the girls behind the bar I had too. It didn’t last long I cant tell you that. Which is probably why I lost shifts? Anyways my point being is that I allowed bartending to become who I was, what I did and how I did everything. Because I thought well, what else will I put my all into. When we know there probably was a list of other options I could have chosen from. But, the money was massive, consistent and I was good. That is one thing I can admit to. I got really good at bottle pouring, being creative with beverages and having that perfect attitude behind the bar that got me the big bucks. We know in the end that is what it’s all about. If you say, “No man, it’s about the party and the friend.” You are so full of shit and I do not believe you. Parties come and Go non stop. Money Flow is what keeps that going. Don’t forget that.
32 years young and as you know I have a magnificent little girl. She is one and half years old and full of spit and vinegar. Including some serious dashes of sass. I was sitting here the other day, or more like months ago. Thinking about what I just told you about the bartending and how I allowed it to consume me and become who I was. Well, I am absolutely guilty of doing it again. I sit here as a mom and a wife, thinking to myself day in and day out that is what I am. Right? I mean I know there are all the things in between, but mostly I am Mom and Wife. At least that is what my brain goes to every single day. Isn’t it crazy what we can adjust to as humans and adapt to what is okay and what is not?
What I am getting at is this, I am a past Bartender. I am also a Wife, a Mom, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend and someone that can offer one more thing. Me. The one title that we forget about in the mix of giving to others. We become those titles, we allow them to guide our choices, our thoughts, and our actions. What happened to not making a choice based on what mom will think, or how your sibling will react. Perhaps the nieces around that look up to their super cool aunt. I get it! I really do, but we are important too. The “Me” should be on the list of who you are. Who I am. You see?
that all of those titles hold extreme value to me, all on different platforms and types of love. The one thing I am working towards is filtering my thoughts and what I like to call washing my brain. It’s so important that the list I place titles, which I carry around. The “Me” title is first. Because in the end, we have got to start giving Self Love. If we don’t have or give ourselves the Love we need, we can not FULLY be happy. Love fuels the soul my friends, it feeds the heart. Just remember that next time you go to do a load of laundry, ask yourself if you are taken care of first. Because that load of laundry is going nowhere. Plus I promise you’ll feel better doing it after you’ve either eaten, drank some sort of fluids, maybe a shower, or perhaps even do your hair and makeup.
I feel happy knowing that I have recognized that I need to start making choices for Me. Not that I won’t still be modest about everything on a normal. But that I find the REAL time to give myself and not feel scared to make choices for me. Not be scared of the consequence because at least I made the choice for ME! I mean honestly, it has been so long I can’t even remember what it feels like to not feel bad about doing something for myself. I mean that in sort of a lackadaisical way. But I guess long story short, as I sit here and sorta giggle. I used to make choices based on what mask or hat I was wearing at that moment. Most times I don’t even need to be wearing whatever mask or hat. I usually am putting more on my plate than I even need to. Only because I care, or want to help in some way. So yeah, I put extras on my plate, but is that so bad? I just need to learn to separate each one properly, ya know? What I do know is this, I know that I love my husband, I am head over heels for my daughter, and my mom is basically my best friend other than my husband. I have many important people I love and cherish so much that I can not even explain into words. But I know that I am important and that I need to be on the list of important.
This is where the good Lord wants me, for some reason he placed me right here. Sitting in this hand-made stool that I refurbished with cushion and fabric. The laptop is on my eat-in and I am watching my sweet girl nap on the monitor. Life is beautiful and I feel grateful I know where I belong. Now to work thru filtering my thoughts and washing my brain to keep “ME” at the top of the list. That includes MY relationship with the lord. Since its MINE that falls into the category of Me. He is on the top of my list, so We share spaces a bit. So, I am going to continue working on growth, working towards goals, and relishing feeling proud of myself. Recognizing the problem is the first step to solution. Here I go…
Thank you for reading my friends. If you can relate to this in any way at all, please comment below on your similarities and how you work or worked thru them.
Posted on March 31, 2018
Oh my gosh, I have been coming across so many neat new inventions lately. Between the countless innovations on Shark tank or just your everyday inventor. We are seeing some seriously cool stuff. I wanted to just share with you some of the interesting items/products I have come across over a fairly short span of time. Be sure you click on some of the links. These gadgets will blow you away!
First, let’s check out this Incredibly nifty gadget that could not be any more perfect for your daily cell phone user. It’s called the “PhoneSoap 3!” Check it out HERE!
Ladies! Jewelry Meets Technology! You have got to check this out. Stylish and extremely convenient for all of us Busy parents. Able to alert you with a vibrations for emails, text messages or reminders all at the placement of your finger. Which is also done with style! Meet “RINGLY.” (Also comes in other types of jewelry.)
Coffee Lovers… Here is a treat for you! Not only for you Busy on the go parents but, also for those parents that literally survive on Coffee. Now this is a incredibly beneficial invention for each of us on the go. Go and check it out today and learn exactly what this magical Cup really does!
Spoken to be “The simplest Internet user interface in the world,” Bttn allows users to program different functions for Internet-connected homes or work spaces. For example, Bttn can be programmed in send a text to parents whenever their kids arrive home from school. Grasping the power of various Internet technologies, such as OpenHome, SmartThings, Twitter, Facebook and SMS messaging, Bttn makes performing an Internet-enabled task as simple as pushing a button. Click Here to learn more about this insane cool product! A must for all Parents!
Share with us which one of these gadgets you found the neatest in the comment section below.
BY GRACE THROUGH FAITH
journey to the little things