When defeat grabs your light


Although defeat stood taller today,

The fight in me goes on.

I know what I am worth and I know that I am strong.

Anxiety can make things scary.

But one thing I know for sure, is that my will to win.

That is one thing that keeps me from giving in.

The dreams I see and the vision I have, is bigger than me.

Anxiety will never be allowed to defeat who I am.

Because, God created me for greatness and its my job to prove I can.

“Be brave in the face of fear” This is something I almost feel like I want tattooed on my body.

This little poem was inspired by my anxiety winning and keeping me from something I had been so excited for.

Almost four weeks ago, I purchased a Rachel Hollis “Made for more” move ticket. I have been raving about this for weeks and ridiculously excited to get pumped up and inspired with wisdom and nuggets of goodness.

If you do not know, one of the triggers I have is, walking in the dark alone. Going to a movie entailed me to have to potentially walk a good distance before I get inside. Which was also a parking garage and a location I rarely go.

Now, I know you are probably wondering why I sit and talk about conquering anxiety and being encouraging about it all.

But, I also know that being real is a characteristic I have shared about myself.

Well, this is some of that honesty. You cant always win. We just aren’t built for that.

Failure is apart of success. That is fact.

Which is why I chalked this up as a lesson and I told myself that, “this is apart of my learning curve.”

Acceptance is so vital when we fail or we end up just beating ourselves up. That shit just does not feel good.

So, my point was that I did not attend the show and I am sad about it. I am sitting with the sadness and accepting it so I can move on.

I know that I was doing what was best for my health and just overall, myself. Which needs to be practiced more. I think we all should practice self-awareness and self-love more often.

Anxiety got me last night and for some reason I feel okay with a little regret but also, happy with the gut choice I made.

Yeah, it just felt right.

Sometimes we just have to follow our gut even if it goes against everything we are wanting to do.

If anxiety or your defeat has got you down, remember that its okay to have bad days. Its okay to get defeated by the shit. Accept it and move on. Do not stay in your defeat. Which is why acceptance, I feel like goes hand in hand with defeat.

We will always face defeat and that is not in our control. But what we can do is, focus on accepting what is and learning what we can from it. This is where the journey to success comes and flows.

Thanks for reading ❤

You are stronger than your Anxiety


Friends, if you are reading this it is most likely because, you struggle from Anxiety.

What form? I personally am not sure that it matters. Anxiety is a monster and no matter the size of a monster it is still a monster.

Suffering from Anxiety can be numbing and it can literally stop life for some. Debilitating is what word I would use.

Now, in this topic I feel like sharing a personal background story can help you understand why I am sharing these tips and where they come from.

Four years ago you would never see me worry about anything. I was carefree and the world was my oyster.

I definitely did not worry when I left my house to go grocery shopping or enjoy some hiking in the woods by myself.

Three years ago I got pregnant on purpose and not much changed in the carefree department until I was about 6 months along.

Things started to obviously come up in thought and i would ponder on things for the future. That is where I think the heat first started warming the water.

After our daughter was born and we relished in the newborn stage. Roughly around 8-9 months old I was doing a photoshoot for my daughter and long story short, three men honed in on us and it triggered the Anxiety that lived inside of me.

The anxiety we all have but takes something to trigger it on.

That experience and scare did it for me clearly.

After that day I have truly never been the same and my anxiety lives with me every single day. 

Except more recently over the last year, new anxieties will flare up over things I never knew existed. 

Now, what I can tell you is living with anxiety is possible. Managing it is the job.

When you suffer from Anxiety it is crucial to teach yourself to identify the root. What triggers it and why? How can you harness that issue and can you work thru it? Is it something that is so debilitating that you feel like you cant move? Try lifting your foot, just try. See what happens. If you fall, get back up and try again. Crawl if you have to but, do not give up.

Anxiety WILL steal everything from you if you allow it. Just remember you have the control. These are your feelings and you can stop the anxious by possibly using one or all of these tips.

Some may resonate with you and some might be an absolute non negotiable choice. That is completely up to you and I respect that.

But I truly believe and obviously it is merely my opinion and view from experience that you are capable of working thru this. You are stronger than your anxiety.

Sharing My Personal Anxiety Tips


Figuring out what you need to talk about is always helpful but far from necessary.

You do not need a quick explanation to reach out for someone too talk to. All you need to do is communicate that you need to talk.

When you sit down to discuss the issues you are facing, remember you have no reason to hide anything. This is a chance to release and confine in someone. This could be an opportunity to discover a solution. Do not sway away from any urge to reach out and talk with someone.

No matter the size of the Anxiety, you should never sit alone in it.

Being an open book for someone does not come easy to everyone and for that there is always journaling. Which we will get to.

Just know that when you are ready or if your seeking it now, talking to someone is extremely therapeutic and can have massive positive impact. Especially if you are talking to the right person.

Which is also something that is really important to always keep in mind.


WebMD states here that these specific techniques can help alleviate the anxiety. Take a peek if your interested in their article.

Now the basics of breathing is not what I am referencing. Breathing comes in multiple ways and can actually be used for many purposes.

Birth, Sex, Running and even your friendly panic or anxiety attack. Amongst im sure other purposes.

Breathing can be a weapon against Anxiety and the sooner we learn to use it, the quicker we can alleviate the anxiety when it attacks.

Deep breaths that are intentional and calm. Breaths that flow up the nose and fill the chest. Only to suck in the stomach and breath out the mouth to exhale all the tension/anxiety coming from the chest.

I like to imagine my chest being the filter for my breath that is accompanied by anxiety.

To imagine that when you exhale and convince yourself that your anxiety has been filtered every time you take that deep breath.

The more deep and calm breathing you do the more the anxiety is filtered until you feel cleansed to move forward. Keep breathing.

Write / Journal

Writing is not for the faint of hearts but, journaling can be for anyone.

When writing is viewed in my eyes it is seen as a public post. When journaling is thought of, its pictured as a more private experience.

Can that be claimed as a fact? Probably not but, it honestly makes complete sense to me personally.

Now for some people writing is the option they choose when they want to be heard publicly. When you hear about someone journaling or perhaps you are a individual that does journal you think of private thoughts or perhaps a diary.

The journals with the twain wrapped around them or the little girl diaries you would get as a child with the silly keys.

Journaling is a personal experience and just is not intended to be shared. Which is absolutely okay and healthy. If you get it out of your head onto paper, it has a better shot at finding a place of peace.

Now if you have the gumption to write, then you are sure to get feedback.
Not everyone wants that and I actually completely understand. Not everyone has nice things to say and when you are sharing vulnerable feelings, the last thing you want to read or hear is something negative or off setting.

So, know where you want to be. Figure out if your anxiety is something you want to share or not. Public with feedback or private with a word release. Remember that putting thoughts on paper or computer can be a form of therapy.

Ernest Hemingway once said, “Write Hard and clear about what hurts.”


Now, I know this is not a space for everyone and that is completely okay.

But if I did not share this portion, I would not be my genuine self.

When we write I believe we should portray who we are genuinely the best we can thru words.

Praying can come in different practices and can be done literally anywhere.
Taking a moment sometimes to talk to God and to elaborate your feelings can truly be therapeutic.

Not everyone has someone they can turn to when they are low, feeling an attack approach or already present.

If you are open too a practice like this and talking to God but, have not done so yet. I would encourage you to simply just try.
See, naturally when you just get things off your chest and tell someone it feel good. (Most times)

Who better to tell than, God.

If this is not something you practice then perhaps do this.

Go outside, look up and take a gander at the beauty around you when you begin to feel anxious. Breath in the fresh air and realize your reality is what you create.

The beauty around you can be even more magical when, you use it for self-healing. Embracing the sunshine or even the cold winter.

Be grateful. Stay humble and remember that being stronger than your anxiety is hard but, not impossible.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with your wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

What is your choice of Fruit?

I know what your thinking. Why is the title asking me what type of fruit I like? Well, I am not talking about the food fruit. I am talking about the “Fruits of the Spirit.”


You see I just recently was reading and this came up in the book. I have never been asked to do what the author asked us, readers, to do. She named out the 8 fruits of the spirit and said, “Write down the ones that resonate with you most.” Set them out where you can see them. Seems silly yeah?
Well, for me it is not. For me, I am a visual person and I like the idea of having something in front of me every day to remind me of the things that unfortunately can slip my mind. Here are the 8 Fruits of the Spirit if you are not aware of them as I was not either. This is a good place to start.


Love, Joy, Peace, Kindness, Self- Control, Gentleness, Goodness and Faithfulness. Now I was completely unaware of this knowledge. So perhaps that is why I find it so interesting. Either way, I choose to write about things when it really sits with me. So here I am.
Now, if you’d like to join me you could take the moment and write down maybe which ones resonate with you the most? I wrote down these four fruits, Love; Faithfulness; Kindness and Peace. What I want to share with you wasn’t just the list of the 8 fruits. It was to first share with you the information I read and perhaps maybe someone else would enjoy the practice as much as I did. Second I wanted to share with you the ones I did write down and why those resonated with me. The third was to share why I did not choose the other four.
-Why I chose Love: I truly believe with all my being that Love is the most powerful thing in the world. It is also Free.
-Why I chose Peace: Peace is something that is not only healthy for our inner beings but it is simply a better way of life. A better way to example living with gratefulness and being humble. We collectively can only see more if we collectively example more peace. Because I pray for this daily, it resonated with me strongly.
-Why I chose Faithfulness: This one is something I sadly feel is completely disappearing from our generation. No matter what the situation is. Being true and faithful today is so tough to find in realtionships. Not completely extinct obviously but, this resonated with me because of how important being faithful is to me and my morals. That just because being in a world filling with unfaithfulness, does not mean I am pouring from the same cup. I never will actually. I am wired to be a pretty different cookie.
-Why I chose Kindness: You guys being kind is one of the most contagious things you can carry around with you. I believe that. I believe that when you open a door for a stranger they then will do the same for someone else. I believe that when you allow someone out in traffic during rush hour even when you really don’t want too. I truly believe that act will then spread to them doing the same thing. Which can actually lead to less accidents with more teamwork and patience. I believe that when you kindly compliment someone on their attire, their choice in food or even their hairstyle it can alter someone’s entire day for a simple 10-15 words from you. When you take the time to notice things, to be considerate. You would be blown away with what you don’t see happening after that effect kicks in. When you have done something kind and the next person follows that example but you don’t get the pleasure of seeing it. For some reason, I find that more beautiful. Which from another angle you could just say, Kindness is the beauty.

So, now that I have shared with you where my thoughts came from, why this post is happening and the choices made inside of my thought process was shared here with you. I now feel like it is important to share with you why the other four were not the ones I chose. First, let me just start with it was not that the words/actions did not resonate at all. It is that they weren’t as strongly felt for other purposes which I’m going to share.
-Joy: Now with joy, I feel like a huge smile naturally happens on my face when I even say the word. Try it. You see I feel like Joy stems from Love. Because I can only actually speak from personal feelings or experiences. So when I love something or someone I know that it is bringing absolute joy to my life. Basically, to me, Joy is under the umbrella of Love.
-Gentleness: First thing is first, I can be gentle but I am sort of a wrecking ball. Accident prone I should say. Now when I think of babies and puppies, of course, I am gentle. But for a day to day, this word is not so much in my vocabulary. HA! But I do have to say I am good at being gentle with feelings.
-Goodness: Having this inside of you is there. It is inside all of us. I have never had any issues with digging deep and discovering my goodness or even digging in some of the worst people I have ever met and I can always find a piece of goodness in them. I am wired that way. Sometimes it drives others crazy but most times it is a great blessing I was given. Goodness comes naturally to me and to find so it didn’t resonate with me only because I rarely go without feeling or seeing it. No matter how hard.
-Self-Control: You may not agree with me on this one and that is absolutely okay. You can take it and alter it in your own paradigm with the same general aspect. I believe the more you try to control shit in your life the more it won’t go your way. Because I truly, truly with all my guts and insides that God is completely in control of my life and everything that happens. Don’t get me wrong, I have the wheel. But in the end, he knows the destination. So self-control is not on my priority list. Outside of not having a total adult meltdown or a screaming match in public, I feel like self-control is not in our control. Just my take.

So, now that I have shared all this with you and you might be like that was a huge waste of time to read. Or you could have been inspired somehow. Either way, I would encourage you to try this exercise and see what it does for you. For me personally, it allowed me to learn what the Fruit of the spirit was as well as write down and address directly why and why not each one is or is not as important to me.

Writing things down really is magical. X O X O


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