July 4th, 2017 and it was the first time experiencing having a child on one of the loudest holidays of the year. She was only about 10 months old and she was pretty careless about most things around her at that age. Seems as if she only cares when she hears the creaks of mommy or daddy’s walking that will wake her. Well, as fireworks shot off the ENTIRE day that day on the lake as we stayed in the family cabin. She slept like an angel thru it all. Still, we question how in the world she managed that, being such a sensitive sleeper to all other things.
However, here we are present day July 4th, 2018. We were hopeful for a more subtle noise by staying home. I am being literal. See, My husband and I came to terms that we didn’t think the cabin was a good idea this year based on just the experience we had over a weekend already this summer. Honestly, the cabin just does not have enough kid stuff there to keep her entertained and busy. She needs toys and shit to climb on. So anyways we decided we wouldn’t go.
Here we are at our house and first thing at 11:30 a.m. the neighbors are lighting off bottle rockets. I was not going to mention it because it really shouldn’t matter. But, the people setting these mid-day fireworks are grown ass men in their pajamas on their deck. I mean I get it. I am patriotic too! But… you are basically in my backyard bro, it is illegal and you are keeping my damn kid awake from a nap. Oh, let me mention I live in the Pacific Norwest where there is a ton of trees and shit. Fires EASILY start here and we are surrounded by ass hats that seem to forget that we have had EXTREME summer fires over the past 4 years. Is there a stupid stamp we can use on these individuals?… LOL, This way we can be sure to treat them extra special in reminding the important things. LOL (So much sarcasm there)
So, as I sit here mid-afternoon I thought to myself I would compile a small list that may or may not be helpful in order to be a decent neighbor. Either way, I also discovered I gave no shits whether it was helpful or not. These things just needed to be written out of me. (Does that even make sense?… fuck it)
Okay, here is my short compile of advice in a list form. (Wink Face)

HOW TO BE A DESCENT NEIGHBOR:

1. Be Friendly. I know right? Seems easy enough. Well, at least I thought it was easy enough. Yet, everywhere I live it seems as if nobody has any damn neighborly love. I am not shitting you, one time I baked cookies for an entire complex that I lived in. 12 apartments total in that complex! Not one person ever said hello to me before or even after that. I mean, I know they were tasty because everyone besides them loved them and wanted more. LOL So, just be fucking nice. It’s free and Easy!

2. Offer help in the yards! A lot of people think this is silly. But, in reality, how nice is it if your immediate neighbors and you all worked together to keep all of your lawns maintained! Genius right?! I mean that could potentially leave you just mowing yards one time a day and allowing yourself to serve others in a positive way. I don’t know, maybe that is to old school for some people. HA

3. Be Considerate! This is a Big one for me personally. I like to believe I am a very considerate person and neighbor. Knowing the rules of noise. I know that being quiet until 8am is important and quiet by 10pm. However… I mean, do we really need to be loud until 10pm? I mean this is the situation. Every single neighbor of ours currently has kids. Yet it seems as if it is normal to let your kid play in your driveway in the dark at 9:30pm at night. While screaming and fighting with siblings and let me add, no adults around. I mean, am I a dick because I want their kids to shut the fuck up so mine can sleep?! LOL Keeping it real here. Sorry…

4. BASS! Oh, Mylanta. I know this goes hand in hand with noise. But I truly believe this topic deserves its own number. Does your neighbor ever come rolling in their driveway at 8,9,10 pm blasting their bass? I mean, what in the fuck are you even doing? Your home bro, turn that shit down. No one to impress here. We ALL know you have super loud and fancy stereo system. Also, NO ONE cares. Move along and turn your shit down.

Happy Birthday, America.
Be Safe Everyone.
Thanks for reading

X O X O