What If we had Two?

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So this is a topic we tossed around. Having more than one child is a big choice. We were together for 8 years before we got pregnant with Gracie. It took us 8 months to conceive her. That was a crazy ride. With things like cost of living, wages, and just your daily survival fees. That's what I like to call the "Stuff" we have to buy nowadays. Fees. I feel like we are charged to even use restrooms in some countries. But hey, I get it. Money makes the world go round. That is the truth. Harsh, yet true.

See, when we initially discussed having a baby it was 2014. I mean we had discussed it previously but it was about timing for us. Even then the cost of living was a lot. We were noticing food cost go up, the minimum wage was skyrocketing with the demands in votes for the state of Washington. I mean, I could say I understand why Washington residents wanted a higher pay. But, here we are resulting in a higher cost of living. I mean I could talk about all states and discuss this topic across the nation. However, that is not the Main talk here. I am here to talk the end reason(s) why we came to this way of thinking.

My husband and I are both children of siblings. Yet, we had no utter desire to have more than one baby. The trying alone was tough on us. In many different ways. So, when we had our first initial talk it was the basics of. Let's try! I was ready at that point and I was pushing 30. My anxiety was rising, knowing I am getting older and my egg count is getting lower. Yet Ryan was supportive of my wanting a baby, starting a family and truly seeking motherhood. He was not quite on the same page. But, he knew he was spending forever with me. So if not now, when? We may not have been in the best or most ideal financial position. But, waiting around for the "Perfect Time" just was not realistic. Having a baby was something I was craving from the inside. My heart was just not....full. I mean my love for Ryan runs deep. But I just did not feel complete.

So, during pregnancy, I tumbled into all sorts of things that were not the ideal pregnancy side effects. But I mean, it is pregnancy. Growing a human is anything other than glorious. I mean don't get me wrong, its the coolest and most beautiful thing that I believe happens in the world. But, man is it a miserable load to carry for 9 months. That is my utter truth straight from my mom mouth. I mean, if things were a breeze for you. You're not human in my opinion. I mean, seriously tho. Who walks around with a giant belly and is stoked about it? Oh, I meant, a moving belly. The pregnancy and all the ugly that comes with it. There are those glorious magazine moments of glowing. But, please lord don't let them fool you. The stuff is tough. If you are reading this now and wanting a baby, do it. (Responsibly of course) If you are pregnant, don't let me scare you or make you feel anything other than how you feel. Also, if you already have kids and you are the non-human mom. Email me, we need to chat. Ha Ha, I mean that with the humblest of hearts. But seriously, email me. Along with the pregnancy at thirty weeks I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. I had the pleasure of stabbing my finger three times a day, injecting insulin into my stomach, maintaining a strict diet, and walking up and down 3 flights of stairs 3 times after every meal. Kept my glucose low and kept me somewhat active outside of daily walking. Thankfully I only had that pleasure for 8 weeks. Our little Gracie came at 38.5 weeks.

Outside of the pregnancy ride and all that I was blessed to encounter. We entered Parent-Hood. The glorious days of No sleep, dirty clothes, toy landmines, snot on everything, smelling poop almost everywhere you go, the life of carrying an item that holds urine and poop alongside with some wipes to clean it up. Yeah, we wanted this. We tried for this life. I giggle now. But, in all reality, our house without all those things today. Would be, boring. It is funny how as a Stay at home Mom I say I get bored a lot. Yet, If I didn't have the chaos of motherhood or being a parent. Life would be equally as boring. Just in a different paradigm. Just strange to ponder on. So, while raising Gracie over the last year and a half there have been more things to just help us confirm we made the right choice in the concept of "One and Done."

See, I could get a Full-time Employment job. Where I go and work 9-5 and have a paycheck. However, that would lead us to have someone else raise Gracie. I mean in all reality that is what it is when your littles are left with someone else most of their awake hours. We made the choice while I was pregnant I would stay home and tend to Gracie. We would make the sacrifice with less income so that I could be the main source of influence. Yes, it is a huge sacrifice. we are blessed to even have the option to live on one income. Yet I am yearning to contribute. Living on one Income and the needs of a toddler/child. It is a lot of costs, but also a lot of responsibility. As well as just figuring things out as a first-time parent. Many trials in error moments for us here. That is okay with us tho. We are okay with failing sometimes. Here is what we put into perspective every single time we have hiccups in life. Cost we cant afford, or just, in general, we slide thru by the hair on our chins. Ya know? So, we ask ourselves, "What if we had two?" I mean, that question is heavy enough in moments like that which make it easy as blinking to make the choice we did. Why take from Gracie? I mean yes, I could work and we could work harder or more to make more money. Which then would supply a life for two. However, I come back to who is raising our littles if we are always slaving away to make money for trips we don't have time for because we are to busy working. See that cycle? We do not want any part of it. Which is the end result of why we made our choice with just having Gracie.

It boils down to that one questions every single time we come into a pickle. "What if we had two?"

However.... What will 5 years from now hold?

Too Be continued?.....

We are Not here to PROTECT our children from the World. We are here to PREPARE them for it.

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Credit: The Imaging World (Google Search)

We all know this world can be an ugly place.That is an inevitable due to humankind. However, we can not allow the ugly to keep us from seeing or experiencing the Beauty that the world has. Although as time goes on, we see the horror happening around us. The violence, the hate, the diversity being created by ALL people. Don’t forget those “people” include children as well. It’s such a disheartening time and thing to see. I don’t know about you, but I sit here and I think about what the next 10, 15, 20 years are going to bring. From technology break through all the way to hearing about more assaults and murders.

We live in a time where things have become Casual. I have tried over and over again to think of a way to help myself understand if even just a little bit. I ended up coming up with that one word. Casual. I mean if you think about it, there is almost zero meaning behind much of anything anymore. Don’t get me wrong there are a lot of good intentions still flowing thru the world. But I truly see so much casual action happening all around me.

Here is a short list of some things I see people treating too casually:

Driving 
Eating Nutritiously
Showing compassion
Acceptance
Giving Love
Working a Job
Being Alive

I know you’re probably curious what I mean by #7. I mean ENTITLEMENT. There Is way too much of that going on in the world today. I’m not just talking about adults either. The kids are learning from the adults and their entitlement. I truly believe the main source of problems come from inside the home. A lot of people nowadays have zero problems walking around with a stick up there butt as if they rule the world. (Even tho we don’t want to be around those individuals, let’s try and remember they are human also and probably need a dang hug! Or Jesus… Either way.)

I am not sure why our natural instinct as parents is to think we need to PROTECT our children from the world. Yes, we need to Protect them in the sense of Safety. But I just do not believe that it was intended to shelter them from the truth. If my baby girl has a valid yet tough question for me, you bet your bottom I am gonna deliver her the truth in the best way I know how. If I am crying and she wants to know why I will not hide that from her. I refuse to shelter her from understanding feelings and empathy. Because, in the end, isn’t that a piece of what we all wish we saw more of in the world? Understanding and Empathy. The day my daughter asks me big questions, I want her to understand that a lot of times when you ask big questions they come with bigger answers. Which does not make the Questions a bigger “problem” per say. But it could have a much more in-depth and complex explaining. See how we need to be choosy about how we explain things?… Boy, being a parent is tough stuff! At least we all have one another and we can lean in. If that is your husband, mom, sister, your fellow mama friends. Don’t keep yourself from leaning in when it’s needed.

I hope that one day I can look at Gracie as an adult and be proud, knowing her daddy and I raised her and PREPARED her for this mean, and nasty world. But, that she knows flowers can not grow without dirt.

 

Is Life too crazy for Symmetry as A Parent?

I heard one time that someone just wanted “Balance” in life. I’m sitting here asking myself, “Balance? Is that real?”

So here I sit today and ponder on that comment. That sense of balance the individual was seeking. I ask myself, “Do you seek for Balance outside of yourself?” As in, your surroundings. Or, do you seek for the Balance, inside yourself?

See this is the question I keep asking myself. I put myself in different situations that would challenge me to do either balance inside, or balance in my environment. Then, I tried both. Here are my stories and results.

Neither of them make a difference in how I attacked them. Because there is no such thing as Balance.

Okay let me back up. Perhaps you can have temporary balance. As in, everything is EXACTLY how you want it. However, that isn’t going to last. I am not trying to be negative or a Debbie downer either. Trust me, that is the last thing I want. But hear me out.

Balance is an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.

Now, put that into perspective. Having an even distribution in life in all aspects. I mean, are you kidding me. Like I said it can happen for days, or perhaps even a few weeks. But Balance can not be constant. There is always going to be something that is heavier than the other in life. It’s impossible that absolutely everything can sustain a even proportion to create balance. Yes, I am being technical. Because to set your mind up to think there is a balance of complete. That is fooling your brain and you will end up being disappointed for that the placement of that expectation.

So in turn here is what I suggest. This is not a professional piece of advice. This is simply my personal take on what you can create, if you are or wanted to seek Balance.

I suggest you prioritize and find the 3 most important things in your life. Find those three things and create a stable foundation. Start with one and move into the next two. Show yourself Grace, and patience. Balance with even one aspect in life is VERY difficult to maintain and keep up with. But that does not make it impossible.

For instance, If you had prioritized Church, Family, Business. This means you would be placing Church as your main priority to find your balance in that aspect of your life.

Which could entail attending your choice of church, being consistent, becoming apart of the community there in church. You see? It really takes involvement for each aspect in life to maintain balance. Otherwise you lack one thing and it throws it all off. Frustrating right? Which is truly why I feel like we are worker bees.

So what I am getting at is simply my outlook and how I see that Balance can not be a constant in life. So to want that, is okay. But to make it a goal? Well, I think your in a for a very, very long road my friend. I won’t tell you it’s impossible to have Complete Balance. I will just say, I don’t believe it’s possible. I am okay with that because it’s allows me to feel like I am challenged. Like I don’t have to be stagnant in life. It helps remind me that if I want to continue feeling that wonderful feeling of Balance when I do get those opportunities. Well, I better stay constant, or the balance won’t either.

Just My Take on Balance.

Quick List for 10 Toddler Activities

 

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I know as a Parent we can get consumed with the many things on the To-Do list. There is nothing wrong with that. We are all just trying to keep up and maintain the duties of day to day tasks.

A lot of times I have sat and pondered thru the stages of my daughter’s growth. What can I be doing with her? I knew there were things I could manage without spending a ton of money. Tasks, activities things that would stimulate her mind. Living in Washington State we get quite a few cold months. So having the idea for things to do indoors is basically vital for a Stay at home Mom. Just as much as those little stinkers lose their mind with boredom. Us parents are over here twiddling our thumbs too! Watching cartoons, and playing with dolls, and legos on a day to day can have its glory moments. But let us face it, it gets rather repetitive.

One day during a Winter month here I was on day 3 inside. Due to it being so cold out and low on spending funds. We stayed in. Let me assure you, at this point, I was running in circles with my toddler. Ha Ha.

I came to an AH HA moment and decided I would take a quick trip. I went to Pinterest! Where every Mom goes to find the solution for everything. Ha Ha!

There I found many link too many different types of activities. However, the list I am going to share with you is a list I personally like. They don’t cost a ton, they maintain good stimulation, and they were all a lot of fun for Gracie. Some allowed cognitive skills, sensory, even helped her with understanding different movements and how things worked together. I hope you enjoy and find them as helpful as I did during the Cold season. (Although not all Activities are for cold weather only)

10 Toddler Activities (All toddler Ages)

  1. Blow Bubbles
  2. Coloring with Crayons in Highchair
  3. Sort beans or Popcorn kernels into egg cartons
  4. Decorate a Cardboard Box like a Car or Princess Carriage
  5. Shaving cream Color Mixing
  6. Separate Change coins in bowls
  7. Make your Own Playdough
  8. Number writing in Salt
  9. Finger Painting in Highchair
  10. Marshmallow shooter