Posted on February 19, 2019
Imagining it flow back and fourth.
Imagining it crash or gently fall.
Imagining life compared to the water.
Imagine if we could just have it all.
A Big Bang or the Quiet collide.
Life can definitely give either.
So take the wheel and adjust your sail so you can guide yourself through the water.
As I go back and reminisce on when my daughter, Gracie was just about to turn one years old.
This photo came across the memories and it was her one year photo shoot I did at Diamond Lake WA.
Now, when I took this photo I merely was thinking how adorable and chunky she looked. When I look at it now I still see that but, I also simply see a little human gazing into the water.
Her thoughts? I have no idea.
Could she be thinking of simply swimming?
Could she be watching the waves as they slowly come to the shore and fall quietly?
Possibly she is thinking deeper than we will ever know or understand when they are this young.
Either way, this photo has become so much more beautiful to me than it even was before.
I now see something in this photo that allowed me to see some clarity almost 2 years later.
This photo inspired me to write what I wrote.
Have you ever pictured your feelings like a pulse? (Like waves) The up and down, up and down.
That, for some reason clicks with me in a way to write what I did.
It’s up to us when we want to smooth things out in life, (water) create peace in our environments and we allow what we want. It’s our choice.
We can not change the size of the waves or how the water falls. But, we can learn to ride and we can learn to get back up. Becoming stronger swimmers.
God gave us everything we need to succeed in this life with what we want.
Don’t let a hard crash keep you from all the gentle but, life-changing falls you will get to experience and don’t be afraid of the hard crashes. They will shape us all in the end because, most hard lessons do.
Embrace your journey and LIVE your life the way YOU intend to WANT to live.
Posted on January 10, 2019
Although defeat stood taller today,
The fight in me goes on.
I know what I am worth and I know that I am strong.
Anxiety can make things scary.
But one thing I know for sure, is that my will to win.
That is one thing that keeps me from giving in.
The dreams I see and the vision I have, is bigger than me.
Anxiety will never be allowed to defeat who I am.
Because, God created me for greatness and its my job to prove I can.
“Be brave in the face of fear” This is something I almost feel like I want tattooed on my body.
This little poem was inspired by my anxiety winning and keeping me from something I had been so excited for.
Almost four weeks ago, I purchased a Rachel Hollis “Made for more” move ticket. I have been raving about this for weeks and ridiculously excited to get pumped up and inspired with wisdom and nuggets of goodness.
If you do not know, one of the triggers I have is, walking in the dark alone. Going to a movie entailed me to have to potentially walk a good distance before I get inside. Which was also a parking garage and a location I rarely go.
Now, I know you are probably wondering why I sit and talk about conquering anxiety and being encouraging about it all.
But, I also know that being real is a characteristic I have shared about myself.
Well, this is some of that honesty. You cant always win. We just aren’t built for that.
Failure is apart of success. That is fact.
Which is why I chalked this up as a lesson and I told myself that, “this is apart of my learning curve.”
Acceptance is so vital when we fail or we end up just beating ourselves up. That shit just does not feel good.
So, my point was that I did not attend the show and I am sad about it. I am sitting with the sadness and accepting it so I can move on.
I know that I was doing what was best for my health and just overall, myself. Which needs to be practiced more. I think we all should practice self-awareness and self-love more often.
Anxiety got me last night and for some reason I feel okay with a little regret but also, happy with the gut choice I made.
Yeah, it just felt right.
Sometimes we just have to follow our gut even if it goes against everything we are wanting to do.
If anxiety or your defeat has got you down, remember that its okay to have bad days. Its okay to get defeated by the shit. Accept it and move on. Do not stay in your defeat. Which is why acceptance, I feel like goes hand in hand with defeat.
We will always face defeat and that is not in our control. But what we can do is, focus on accepting what is and learning what we can from it. This is where the journey to success comes and flows.
Thanks for reading ❤
Posted on January 8, 2019
She was down, she was sad.
She felt lost, she felt mad.
The days were long, tiring and tough.
She held on though. Because, of love.
As the year went on and came to an end.
She finally realized it was time to shift, it was time to bend.
The moment had come when transforming was vital.
Change was happening and she was no longer idle.
She pushed on the gas and that’s all it took.
A shift in perspective to start a new book.
“Perspective is power”
This poem was literally off the top of my head and it signifies my last 12-16 months and the mental battles I have been dealing with. The war in my own head.
Suicidal thoughts, major anxiety which formed a depression that would just basically hold hands with my anxiousness all day long.
This battle will come to an end and my story ends with me winning either way.
Speak into yourself often. It’s more powerful then we are taught it is.
I hope you know and believe in yourself enough to know that whatever you are going through is not your end. It does not define your story and you can start a new page every single day that allows an ending YOU WANT.
Perspective has literally altered my mindset and it’s only getting sharper.
Someone once said, “Fear of what is coming in the future, is anxiety and fear of what has happened in the past, is depression.
Why do we not focus on the present?
Thank you for reading
Posted on January 1, 2019
Have you started your New Years Resolution?
Perhaps you were up late last night preparing frozen meals, organizing shelves, taking notes for the first day in 2019 or maybe you laid around and spent quality time laughing with your family.
Either way, we all have goals when we begin something new.
The trends and the repetitive repeats of the year before.
Aren’t you sick of setting the same goals every year? Either not reaching them, half reaching them or perhaps, you did actually achieve them.
Good for you!
For those of you, like myself, that start and stop frequently in life by overfilling your “perfection plate.”
Trust when I say, “You are not on that wagon alone.”
However, this year I was hoping to encourage others like myself. Too hop off that old wagon and hurdle onto the new one that is actually moving!
Did you know that this is the very last teen of our century? The last teen in your lifetime.
It may not seem like some huge ordeal and perhaps it really is not.
However, sometimes believing something is your last, somehow makes you want to reach for it a little bit more.
Kind of like the theory of, you want what you can’t have.
But, it is not here nor there.
What it is about is, you. This year, it is about kicking your own ass.
If that is physically for you, get on it!
If that is mentally for you, seek it!
If that is emotionally for you, dig for it!
You truly have the power inside of you even when you feel like you don’t.
You are human and it is absolutely normal and natural to simply just feel like you can’t.
But, what I am here to tell you is, you can!
I used to think, that putting a ton of shit on my plate was the best way to get all the things done.
I used to think, that by shooting for 10 things I was stronger or smarter somehow.
I used to…
But this year, this year we can change all we have ever known and done.
Because this year, there is belief like never before. There is passion and there is fire inside of you!
Can you feel it?!
Stop going against what you know your meant to do or be! Don’t worry about what everyone or even that one person will think.
The only persons opinion that matters about you, is yours!
You can never truly be your genuine self if all you do is hide behind a shadow of someone you are not.
Here are some personal tips on how to start and move towards your wanted direction.
I know this is tough. I’m aware it’s the hardest part. But dig deep, soul search and figure out what is burning inside of you. The thing you can not live without. You do not need to be great at this thing. You just have to have a big enough passion and hunger to go after it.
No, you do not need to be an architect to blue print your process. You simply need a pencil, some paper and a vision. What is the first step to getting your # 1? I’m not talking about taking the first step here. Simply just writing or drawing it out first. There is SERIOUS magic in writing things down.
Is it changing your attitude?
Is it changing your friends?
Is it adding more nutrition?
Is it implementing more self talk?
How will you get what you want? Figure this out and the next step comes easier.
The scariest part. At least for me personally.
Actually, following through with all the things that were just written down is freaky all by itself.
Probably asking yourself, “Am I seriously going to do this?” “Is this actually going to even work?”
Been there and guess what?
You will never know unless you TRY!
So stop allowing FEAR and DOUBT to stop you from everything you DESERVE!
Which takes me to my last tip.
Before you speak, think. Because our reality becomes what we create.
If we are constantly feeding ourselves doubt through thoughts.
Well my friends, I will just tell you now that you will spin your plates for a long time by doing so.
You disservice yourself and all those around you by speaking poorly. By thinking poorly.
We are what we feel and we become what we surround ourself with physically and mentally.
I know this might seem a bit deep and weird to wrap up my last tip this way.
But, it’s truth and if you don’t start taking the filter process more seriously. You will self destruct before you even flip the switch to try.
Believe in yourself. Believe in the power of you!
Always remember that being intentional with everything you do can be life altering.
A few things in 2019 I will personally be doing:
NUMBER ONE IS THE GOAL FOR 2019!
The rest are things I plan on working on and getting better at with application and time.
X O X O
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Posted on December 10, 2018
Perhaps some would pat you on the back or tell you good job, but that is the open and close to the action or compliment if that is how it’s done nowadays?
Is that enough for you?
Should you keep that energy around?
These are valid and necessary questions to ask yourself sometimes.
Especially when you are trying to do something that is totally against the grain. Something that you are building from scratch. It is not just a clock in and clock out kinda lifestyle.
Most times you end up with people that understand nothing about what your doing or why you are doing it. Good thing you are not doing it for them. Because boy oh boy would that pressure be tough or what? Having to please everybody else, including you!
Worrying about how you do things or move your life around to fit people in.
People that are important but currently not more important than your immediate family and goals.
If this can’t be respected, encouraged or understood from the opposing party.
You my friend are in for a bit of a tougher road. Best way too put it.
Sometimes there comes a day when people want to do something for themselves and unfortunately there is no room for extra.
It’s strictly family and work until a goal is met and a break can be given.
For the first time your doing something for yourself.
Has this happened to you or happening?
Because I completely know how you feel.
In fact we could not be on more of the same wave link as we are with this.
You see, there are time frames on things in life.
Even life itself.
There are time frames in our teenage years, the mistakes we make and learn from.
Then the decade of our twenties which we end up enduring a lot of experience.
Then when you finish up with the end of your twenties you branch into your thirties.
Here is when you are thinking a lot more about the deeper things in life.
Not saying that this is everyone. But, you have to admit this explanation is pretty average.
Now thinking deeper could be encouraged from settling down for a long period of time with your spouse and creating a family.
Seeing the importance of so much we take for granted.
Understanding how quickly time goes by and the value we throw away by not utilizing the time more wisely.
You and everyone else, is not a qualified recipe.
You are your own ingredients and everyone else is their own formula.
It important to remember when you branch out and start following the path you want and life you deserve. That you simply go after it.
It’s vital to not allow anyone to devalue that or misunderstand the importance of it too you.
Do not rearrange your goals and priorities. This is the first mistake that so many make when they think they can do it all.
Don’t get me wrong, there are probably a lot of you reading this that manage all the things that life throws at you.
Let me ask you something, “How’s that going?”
It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to prioritize and completely cut people out.
It’s your life. Your terms.
Friends if you have people in your circle that don’t understand what your fighting for or what your dealing with in your life.
It’s okay. It’s not their responsibility to know or understand.
It is up to you if you want to share it.
It’s up to you if you want to include those that actually help you thrive and if they do.
Just be sure you keep your environment positive and encouraging for your path.
Because I know to well, it does not take much to break someone that is already feeling broken.
If you are someone that is reading this and dealing with an individual who might not be around much.
Show them love, show them grace, ask them what’s wrong.
Understand that if you know them, you’ll know they aren’t hiding for any reason other than a valid one.
God bless and thanks for reading my thoughts today friends.
Now go out and do that thing, for you.
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BY GRACE THROUGH FAITH
journey to the little things