I no longer care what People think of me, but I’m still scared to lose them.

Google Search Image Fear

Feelings, the thing that I believe that truly has its two sides. Feelings can be good or bad. I feel like in today’s world we seem to involve feelings just a little too much. I mean we are able to have those feelings, yet the feelings alone doesn’t make you entitled to anything. For instance, my feeling towards parenting is different than others, but that does not make the others persons parenting wrong. You see? Yet nowadays the difference in parenting creates too many different feelings from each other and ends up in conflict. Why? Well, mostly because people can not just allow others to have their own feelings without making sure they speak their opinion about them or ridicule them by putting them down or shutting them out. Sometimes by being honest, it creates hate. Which is something my brain can not wrap its own head around and that is mostly because I personally prefer honesty and brashness. I know not all people are built to think like me, which is completely okay. I just will never understand why we can not just allow one another to feel what they want to feel and just let it be.

See, in my life, there have been SO many times I have wanted to be honest and brash. Be, myself. Yet I wasn’t able to. Either due to circumstances or fear. Now please don’t think I have this all down and I have mastered overcoming this feeling I have. Being scared of losing people you love because you just want to be honest, it really sucks. It’s such a conflicting feeling when the only reason you want to be honest is that you care and love them genuinely. (Most times anyway) I rarely speak negative towards people or point out things which I know probably should be pointed out. I stay out of peoples way and I just try to speak when it’s needed. Mostly tho I keep quiet and I just pray that whatever happens to them, is good or that there is some lesson for them to learn. I’m learning to use my voice more openly still.

I just so badly want to be honest and tell my story, my life, the things I have gone thru or experienced. Yet, still sit here scared to do just that. Being so vulnerable as a writer and openly putting myself on the internet. Sharing who I am. I’m scared to upset someone I love. Scared to hurt their feelings. I know there is so much truth that I want to speak, let alone just share who I really am and how I grew up. I know If they love me they will except me, understand me. But, I still feel that deep scary thing inside of me saying, “Don’t do it, they are gonna freak out and never talk to you again.”

I feel so conflicted when I sit here and state that I don’t care what people think. Yet, I am still so scared to lose them. Perhaps thru writing and more courage along my journey, I will find the inner strength to share my story. The dark sides and the sides that shed so much good light in my life that it will forever be imprinted.

I know that in all things there are silver linings. Which is why  I hope one day I can muster up the courage and share mine.

A list of Really Cool and Fun Gadgets for any Parent in Today’s Age.

Oh my gosh, I have been coming across so many neat new inventions lately. Between the countless innovations on Shark tank or just your everyday inventor. We are seeing some seriously cool stuff. I wanted to just share with you some of the interesting items/products I have come across over a fairly short span of time. Be sure you click on some of the links. These gadgets will blow you away!

First, let’s check out this Incredibly nifty gadget that could not be any more perfect for your daily cell phone user. It’s called the “PhoneSoap 3!” Check it out HERE!

Phone Soap
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Ladies! Jewelry Meets Technology! You have got to check this out. Stylish and extremely convenient for all of us Busy parents. Able to alert you with a vibrations for emails, text messages or reminders all at the placement of your finger. Which is also done with style!  Meet “RINGLY.” (Also comes in other types of jewelry.)

Google Search

Coffee Lovers… Here is a treat for you! Not only for you Busy on the go parents but, also for those parents that literally survive on Coffee. Now this is a incredibly beneficial invention for each of us on the go. Go and check it out today and learn exactly what this magical Cup really does!

Google Search

Spoken to be “The simplest Internet user interface in the world,” Bttn allows users to program different functions for Internet-connected homes or work spaces. For example, Bttn can be programmed in send a text to parents whenever their kids arrive home from school. Grasping the power of various Internet technologies, such as OpenHome, SmartThings, Twitter, Facebook and SMS messaging, Bttn makes performing an Internet-enabled task as simple as pushing a button. Click Here to learn more about this insane cool product! A must for all Parents!

Google Search
Google Search


Share with us which one of these gadgets you found the neatest in the comment section below. 

We are Not here to PROTECT our children from the World. We are here to PREPARE them for it.

Credit: The Imaging World (Google Search)

We all know this world can be an ugly place.That is an inevitable due to humankind. However, we can not allow the ugly to keep us from seeing or experiencing the Beauty that the world has. Although as time goes on, we see the horror happening around us. The violence, the hate, the diversity being created by ALL people. Don’t forget those “people” include children as well. It’s such a disheartening time and thing to see. I don’t know about you, but I sit here and I think about what the next 10, 15, 20 years are going to bring. From technology break through all the way to hearing about more assaults and murders.

We live in a time where things have become Casual. I have tried over and over again to think of a way to help myself understand if even just a little bit. I ended up coming up with that one word. Casual. I mean if you think about it, there is almost zero meaning behind much of anything anymore. Don’t get me wrong there are a lot of good intentions still flowing thru the world. But I truly see so much casual action happening all around me.

Here is a short list of some things I see people treating too casually:

Eating Nutritiously
Showing compassion
Giving Love
Working a Job
Being Alive

I know you’re probably curious what I mean by #7. I mean ENTITLEMENT. There Is way too much of that going on in the world today. I’m not just talking about adults either. The kids are learning from the adults and their entitlement. I truly believe the main source of problems come from inside the home. A lot of people nowadays have zero problems walking around with a stick up there butt as if they rule the world. (Even tho we don’t want to be around those individuals, let’s try and remember they are human also and probably need a dang hug! Or Jesus… Either way.)

I am not sure why our natural instinct as parents is to think we need to PROTECT our children from the world. Yes, we need to Protect them in the sense of Safety. But I just do not believe that it was intended to shelter them from the truth. If my baby girl has a valid yet tough question for me, you bet your bottom I am gonna deliver her the truth in the best way I know how. If I am crying and she wants to know why I will not hide that from her. I refuse to shelter her from understanding feelings and empathy. Because, in the end, isn’t that a piece of what we all wish we saw more of in the world? Understanding and Empathy. The day my daughter asks me big questions, I want her to understand that a lot of times when you ask big questions they come with bigger answers. Which does not make the Questions a bigger “problem” per say. But it could have a much more in-depth and complex explaining. See how we need to be choosy about how we explain things?… Boy, being a parent is tough stuff! At least we all have one another and we can lean in. If that is your husband, mom, sister, your fellow mama friends. Don’t keep yourself from leaning in when it’s needed.

I hope that one day I can look at Gracie as an adult and be proud, knowing her daddy and I raised her and PREPARED her for this mean, and nasty world. But, that she knows flowers can not grow without dirt.


Too the Mom that feels Empty, with a Heart full of Love

Love Yourself

Dear Fellow Mom,

Today I was reading a letter from someone very dear to me. It brought tears of sadness, yet I was able to also share some tears with a smile. I share this with you today my fellow mom because while I was reading that letter. I took a moment to pay attention to how I was feeling so, that I could address how to feel better. While I came to the conclusion reading that letter I felt Empty, because I was missing the person that wrote it. Yet, I also felt a heart full of love for this person. For some reason, feeling those two things at that moment made me think about other Moms. How do you ask? I am really not 100 percent what actually led me to this analogy or thought process. Sometimes things just happen with absolutely no explanation. But let me try to explain the best I can.

Fellow mom you are not alone. That is where I would like to start. I know in the hustle and bustle of life we can forget the simplest of things such as remembering we are not alone. We as moms need the reminder every so often because our brains start to resemble what I like to refer too as “Tracers.” Can you relate? It can be tough juggling life and all that it throws at you. I know because, well I am alive too. I am not sure if you are a stay at home mom, a part-time working mom, full time working mom, or the OVER TIME career working mom. Either way in my eyes your on the same platform as me. You’re a Mom. No matter how busy or not busy you are, the feeling of emptiness happens. I just wanted to tell you, “It’s okay, to not be okay.” No one is going to judge you for feeling empty or alone. If someone ever was judgemental or mean to you for expressing that, I am so sorry. For me personally, all that validates is the person that judged you probably need a hug more than you do. I truly believe we need to stop the thought process that if someone is rude or cranky we automatically turn to sourness. That to me is the vicious circle I see happening with moms today. Yet here we are on facebook, blogs, tweets, Instagram and just internet in general. I see it everywhere. Moms complaining, crying, fighting and just plain being nasty to one another. Why? Why are we doing this when collectively if we all paid more attention we would see, that we ALL are saying the same thing. We just all deliver it differently. If only we could open our minds and be kind to one another. TRY and understand that we really all are fighting the same battle. Mom Life is hard. It does not make you weaker or less smart. Its just the way it is and there is absolutely no correcting the fact that raising a human is a lot of work. Feeling Empty sometimes is natural and normal. We as mothers give A lot out and we naturally do it with love. (Most the time) So I guess I wanted to just give you that little reminder that you are not alone, and its okay to feel empty sometimes. Just don’t forget you’re important and it is okay to give yourself grace. I encourage you to be easier on yourself and do more of reminding yourself how strong you are.

But, I suppose in the end if we only absolutely have to encounter feeling Empty, at least  we can see the bright side that we have a Full Heart.


Another Fellow Mom

Traffic Lights and Money Tree

It’s 2018 and yet we still have yet to find a proper way to navigate while we shop. You see, shopping carts are only a mere way to keep your child(ren) in an over-sized basket and basically, so you don’t have to carry your items. Convenient? Yes. So I was shopping with Gracie the other day. That is my daughter for those of you who don’t know. First off why as parents do we always give in to handing the little one something, off the shelf to keep them occupied? I mean don’t get me wrong, its pretty simple for me right now at Gracie’s age. She likes soft things, so I just usually find some cheap throw blanket with a fun pattern. She always falls for it and it usually is only like $3. Win! For now.

I know once she turns 3 and older I am guessing. The demands are gonna get higher and I don’t just mean a bigger toy. I mean higher in cost. Ha Ha! Lord knows we can only do what we can do. I cant buy a dang barbie every day. So whats a Mom to do? Well, I wouldn’t be so upset if I could be gifted a seed to grow a Money Tree. I mean, I will do ALL the work. I will dig the hole, I will plant it gracefully, I will water it every day, and I will keep it happy and healthy. Please? Lord… Please. Ha Ha.

Also, I have noticed that carts come in handy for a short list of reasons. But one thing they are not good for is fitting in the isles they are made to fit in. I mean goodness, I understand space is money. However, the customer is the money. Which entails us to space, am I right? Those carts and I will always have a Love/Hate relationship. Plus, most the time the buckles are busted for Gracie’s seat. Where is the maintenance? Ha. So with that in mind, I firmly believe that in order for there to be any sort of direction or guidance thru the chaos of shopping. It should be the placement of shopping lights. YUP! I said it. Red light, yellow light, Green light… Go!

I mean, can you picture that? Ha Ha. Future shopping? I guess only time will tell.

Until then, I will continue daydreaming about that Money Tree.

Wine or Whiskey

Mom Blogger Google

There are a lot of types of people in the world. Those people all go through many stages in life. Here are a few of mine…

See I have had all sorts of stages in my life at my young age of 32. From the rebellious teenager to the know it all 20 years old. Then I moved into being able to legally enter a place of the party. If your unsure what I am referring to, its “The Bar”. Yeah, those many stages we go through in life as soon as we hit that lucky number 21.

First I was the girl that was introducing herself to the bar. So I would have some beer and mixed shots. That was the stage one. Pretty mild and subtle. There were nights I would have more mixed shots than beer. Those nights led to… I’m not so sure. But, I woke up alive and in my warm bed. Most mornings anyways. Tip: Steer clear of any and all sugar in the bar. Sugar leads to the massive hangover in the morning. You’re Welcome.

Stage two, I’ve moved on from beer. I have now accompanied my mixed shots, with mixed drinks. Now, for those of you who attend a bar regularly or have been. I’m sure you have heard of a promising beverage called a “Trash-Can.” Yes, you know what I am referring to. If you don’t and you go out one night. Maybe your feeling a tad extra… Go ahead and order yourself ONE trashcan. Tip: Just One. This stage was already leading to some incredibly inappropriate nights and many things I would like to not admit too. However, I will share this one story while I was flirting with this stage in my life. I was 22 and it was closing time at the local bar I attended frequently. I knew everyone, including the workers. ( One of those bartenders is now my husband ) I decided to be helpful and do dishes behind the bar after the bar was closed. I also was HIGHLY intoxicated and I will admit, I like being naked. Ha Ha. I know its really weird, but I have been this way my whole life. So a little liquid courage had me expressing that. Except it really wasn’t the best of places or times to do so. (Sigh) I proceeded to take off my pants and shirt to go and do some pole dancing… (So embarrassing) I still have no explanation for this action. But I ended up doing dishes behind a bar, half naked. Not to mention I ended up working here and marrying the bartender. Who I have been with for 10 years. So if your looking for this sorta courage. Next time order a Trashcan.

Stage Three, trying to wind down. (Giggle) At this point in my stage, I am realizing I need to possibly cut back. So what is a young gal to do when she is trying to make such a choice? Well, she ditches the mixed drinks and moved to Wine and Whiskey. I have absolutely no idea why this remedy felt like progression for me. But it was far from it. In fact, this mix was by far the most damaging for me. Wine is GOOD. Whiskey is even better. But when I put the two together, I was a walking party. Which was something I truly loved. The party was my favorite place to be. Where things were happening and chaos was absorbed so graciously. Weird right? But it was an environment I felt comfortable at the time in my life. Tip: If you are wanting to ACTUALLY grow up, you cant live in this stage…

Now I can keep taking you through my stages. But long story short I basically do not drink now. Pretty sure I haven’t had a glass of wine in 6 months. Not that I look down on anyone that does. I just think I was too hardcore when I did drink. Also being a bartender for 6 of those years had a big playing part in my problem. That now, I just don’t want it. Don’t get me wrong I’m sure there are gonna be tougher days than I even know. Which might lead me to a nice glass of Wine. However, I steer clear of the whiskey. If you know me, you know that its best I keep my hands off that Crown royal. Lord knows I am too much party, even for myself to handle nowadays. Tip:Whiskey is good and so is wine. But I promise your head will hate you in the morning if you share the two together. My body can hardly handle the cardio I give it…

Of course, always Drink and drive responsibly. (Uber may be in a city near you)

Celebrating Mothers Day like a Mom-Star


Do you get my catchy title? Instead of Momster, it’s Mom-Star. I thought it was rather clever. I know we can all come in counter with the Momster from time to time. But why not own the title Mom-Star? I mean, we are all pretty amazing. At least in my perspective, I see us moms as complete Superstars. But I am just a fellow mom sharing my take on what Nickname we should really be owning.

Being a mom just shy of two years I have had my fair dose of Momster days. However, when I sit here and ponder on the day to day activity and the successes I achieve. I think to myself, I am gosh darn Rockstar! Don’t you ever have that moment of complete validity that you are a Superstar Mom?!

I had a moment of clarity. I remember it clear as day actually because it was such a breath of fresh air. I had so many moments in the beginning. More than id like to even admit. Momster moments are absolutely real and happen daily for a lot of Moms. There is nothing wrong with wearing that name tag for a day, or two if you really need it. Just do yourself a favor and don’t camp out there. I know a lot of moms that sometimes can overuse that term, “Momster.” As if it is a trendy, and cool thing. Which I tend to find humorous, yet sad.

So as I sat there like I was saying at an early age with Gracie. I was so upset so many times that I felt like that Momster energy. I didn’t want that to be the Name tag I would turn to on bad days. It just is such an unappealing nickname. In my opinion of course. Also please know I am 100% guilty of camping out and owning this name tag for months at a time. I just came to realize the psychology behind it. Just took me some mental thinking in order to figure it out. Fortunately, I had some brain mojo one day in earlier motherhood. So my mojo mustered up that if I was going to have to have bad days, why not try and trick myself wearing a different name tag. In which I chose, Mom-Star.

Because in the beginning and end of every single day. I knew I was always putting in 100% and more. I would give every last ounce of energy to my family. Which would leave me tired and restless. Not that I don’t have those days still, I am human. (Far from a robot) But I made the conscious choice to place a name tag on myself, every single morning I wake up. That old name tag I would wear on bad days, to just ensure everyone knew I was cranky or to allow myself too look in the mirror and see everything but what I really am. I am a MOM-STAR! So are you!

See no matter the day, the time, the circumstance. You are a Mom. You are your child’s hero, their safety, their comfort, the gentle hands that rub their face, the ninja moves you learn in order to catch the things before they fall, the maneuvers you pull off, and just the continuous and endless love you give. You are a Mom-Star, a Rockstar, you are anything but a Momster. I hope this sheds some light for you and created a way for you to see you’re not stuck wearing a name tag you don’t want. You can choose! I just hope you choose whats true! Which we all know is, we as moms and we Rock!

Happy 2018 Mothers Day. Here is your Mom reminder that you are So much more than you give yourself credit for. ❤


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Phoebe, MD: Medicine & Poetry

Health | Inspiration | Life