Why Sunshine over Shadows?

YOUR CHOICE


Searching and longing to feel whole.

Finding the joy inside your Soul.

Life’s journey is beautiful and filled with magic.

It’s your job to jump out and grab it.

Being afraid is completely okay.

Just don’t let it keep you from growing day to day.

Your reason should never be your excuse.

But, more of an entrance to discover the real you.

So don’t give up and don’t give in.

Be stronger than the monster within.

”Dig deeper than the shadows burrow”

This poem was inspired by a simple picture as the one you see.

This morning, doing my normal scrolling through social media. I came across this post and it was from a plant farm here locally in Spokane.

I am a huge succulent fan so it grabbed my attention quickly. Seems as if succulents are the only plants outside of a cactus I can keep alive.

In the beginning of my journey to learning about succulents and growing them from babies to medium plants. I lost LOTS of leafs and my toddler like to share them with the pet cat.

So that would sometimes leave me with some naked looking succulents. Of course, I would naturally just throw away the broken pieces. Not even thinking to give the leaf a opportunity to regrow.

Just like any plant! Take the clipping and put it in water. Duh!

But, a little different with succulent. You can literally just leave that little guy out and it will regrow itself! I believe a tad bit of water on the leaf here and there with proper sunlight.

How incredible is this! I mean the thought to me that I was so quick to just give up and throw away an opportunity of regrowth.

I almost felt bad for all leafs I killed. Ha ha.

So, next time you feel like giving up quickly. Rethink what opportunity lies in the problem. I assure you there is most likely more life or option left in what you are given.

Sending positive vibes your way and wish you the best of your weekend.

Always remember, “You are STRONGER THAN YOU GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT.”

If it makes you feel better, I flipped off my coffee after it spilt on me this morning. #reallife 💋

Thanks for reading!

When defeat grabs your light

Acceptance


Although defeat stood taller today,

The fight in me goes on.

I know what I am worth and I know that I am strong.

Anxiety can make things scary.

But one thing I know for sure, is that my will to win.

That is one thing that keeps me from giving in.

The dreams I see and the vision I have, is bigger than me.

Anxiety will never be allowed to defeat who I am.

Because, God created me for greatness and its my job to prove I can.

“Be brave in the face of fear” This is something I almost feel like I want tattooed on my body.


This little poem was inspired by my anxiety winning and keeping me from something I had been so excited for.

Almost four weeks ago, I purchased a Rachel Hollis “Made for more” move ticket. I have been raving about this for weeks and ridiculously excited to get pumped up and inspired with wisdom and nuggets of goodness.

If you do not know, one of the triggers I have is, walking in the dark alone. Going to a movie entailed me to have to potentially walk a good distance before I get inside. Which was also a parking garage and a location I rarely go.

Now, I know you are probably wondering why I sit and talk about conquering anxiety and being encouraging about it all.

But, I also know that being real is a characteristic I have shared about myself.

Well, this is some of that honesty. You cant always win. We just aren’t built for that.

Failure is apart of success. That is fact.

Which is why I chalked this up as a lesson and I told myself that, “this is apart of my learning curve.”

Acceptance is so vital when we fail or we end up just beating ourselves up. That shit just does not feel good.

So, my point was that I did not attend the show and I am sad about it. I am sitting with the sadness and accepting it so I can move on.

I know that I was doing what was best for my health and just overall, myself. Which needs to be practiced more. I think we all should practice self-awareness and self-love more often.

Anxiety got me last night and for some reason I feel okay with a little regret but also, happy with the gut choice I made.

Yeah, it just felt right.

Sometimes we just have to follow our gut even if it goes against everything we are wanting to do.

If anxiety or your defeat has got you down, remember that its okay to have bad days. Its okay to get defeated by the shit. Accept it and move on. Do not stay in your defeat. Which is why acceptance, I feel like goes hand in hand with defeat.

We will always face defeat and that is not in our control. But what we can do is, focus on accepting what is and learning what we can from it. This is where the journey to success comes and flows.

Thanks for reading ❤

When things took a turn

Perspective

She was down, she was sad.

She felt lost, she felt mad.

The days were long, tiring and tough.

She held on though. Because, of love.

As the year went on and came to an end.

She finally realized it was time to shift, it was time to bend.

The moment had come when transforming was vital.

Change was happening and she was no longer idle.

She pushed on the gas and that’s all it took.

A shift in perspective to start a new book.

-Ashley Roberts

“Perspective is power”

This poem was literally off the top of my head and it signifies my last 12-16 months and the mental battles I have been dealing with. The war in my own head.

Suicidal thoughts, major anxiety which formed a depression that would just basically hold hands with my anxiousness all day long.

This battle will come to an end and my story ends with me winning either way.

Speak into yourself often. It’s more powerful then we are taught it is.

I hope you know and believe in yourself enough to know that whatever you are going through is not your end. It does not define your story and you can start a new page every single day that allows an ending YOU WANT.

Perspective has literally altered my mindset and it’s only getting sharper.

Someone once said, “Fear of what is coming in the future, is anxiety and fear of what has happened in the past, is depression.

Why do we not focus on the present?

Thank you for reading

To begin can be scary

Have you started your New Years Resolution?

Perhaps you were up late last night preparing frozen meals, organizing shelves, taking notes for the first day in 2019 or maybe you laid around and spent quality time laughing with your family.

Either way, we all have goals when we begin something new.


The trends and the repetitive repeats of the year before.

Aren’t you sick of setting the same goals every year? Either not reaching them, half reaching them or perhaps, you did actually achieve them.

Good for you!

For those of you, like myself, that start and stop frequently in life by overfilling your “perfection plate.

Trust when I say, “You are not on that wagon alone.”

However, this year I was hoping to encourage others like myself. Too hop off that old wagon and hurdle onto the new one that is actually moving!


Did you know that this is the very last teen of our century? The last teen in your lifetime.

It may not seem like some huge ordeal and perhaps it really is not.

However, sometimes believing something is your last, somehow makes you want to reach for it a little bit more.

Kind of like the theory of, you want what you can’t have.

But, it is not here nor there.

What it is about is, you. This year, it is about kicking your own ass.

If that is physically for you, get on it!

If that is mentally for you, seek it!

If that is emotionally for you, dig for it!

You truly have the power inside of you even when you feel like you don’t.

You are human and it is absolutely normal and natural to simply just feel like you can’t.

But, what I am here to tell you is, you can!

I used to think, that putting a ton of shit on my plate was the best way to get all the things done.

I used to think, that by shooting for 10 things I was stronger or smarter somehow.

I used to…

But this year, this year we can change all we have ever known and done.

Because this year, there is belief like never before. There is passion and there is fire inside of you!

Can you feel it?!

Stop going against what you know your meant to do or be! Don’t worry about what everyone or even that one person will think.

The only persons opinion that matters about you, is yours!

You can never truly be your genuine self if all you do is hide behind a shadow of someone you are not.


Here are some personal tips on how to start and move towards your wanted direction.

  1. Figure out what you want.

I know this is tough. I’m aware it’s the hardest part. But dig deep, soul search and figure out what is burning inside of you. The thing you can not live without. You do not need to be great at this thing. You just have to have a big enough passion and hunger to go after it.

2. How will you get it? Blue print the plan.

No, you do not need to be an architect to blue print your process. You simply need a pencil, some paper and a vision. What is the first step to getting your # 1? I’m not talking about taking the first step here. Simply just writing or drawing it out first. There is SERIOUS magic in writing things down.

Is it changing your attitude?

Is it changing your friends?

Is it adding more nutrition?

Is it implementing more self talk?

How will you get what you want? Figure this out and the next step comes easier.

3. Take the first step

The scariest part. At least for me personally.

Actually, following through with all the things that were just written down is freaky all by itself.

Probably asking yourself, “Am I seriously going to do this?” “Is this actually going to even work?”

Been there and guess what?

You will never know unless you TRY!

So stop allowing FEAR and DOUBT to stop you from everything you DESERVE!

Which takes me to my last tip.

4. Get good at filtering your thoughts

Before you speak, think. Because our reality becomes what we create.

If we are constantly feeding ourselves doubt through thoughts.

Well my friends, I will just tell you now that you will spin your plates for a long time by doing so.

You disservice yourself and all those around you by speaking poorly. By thinking poorly.

We are what we feel and we become what we surround ourself with physically and mentally.

I know this might seem a bit deep and weird to wrap up my last tip this way.

But, it’s truth and if you don’t start taking the filter process more seriously. You will self destruct before you even flip the switch to try.

Believe in yourself. Believe in the power of you!

Always remember that being intentional with everything you do can be life altering.


Happy New Year 2019 to all of you! May you be showered with love and light.

A few things in 2019 I will personally be doing:

  • Being Intentional (My Word for the Year)
  • Learning to manage and work through my Anxiety.
  • Diminish my Personal depression for good!
  • Less unproductive Screen time
  • Increased creative time with Gracie
  • More dates with my Husband
  • Monetize my website
  • Find sponsorship for Podcast
  • Donate as much as possible
  • Attend church regularly
  • Makeup application & Beauty world
  • YouTube channel growth
  • Take walks outside and alone again. This has been a struggle since my anxiety took over.
  • Better nutrition and self care for the inside of my body.
  • Read more and take more notes

NUMBER ONE IS THE GOAL FOR 2019!

The rest are things I plan on working on and getting better at with application and time.

X O X O

You and everyone else…

Have you ever done something in your life when you got no support from people actually present around you?

Perhaps some would pat you on the back or tell you good job, but that is the open and close to the action or compliment if that is how it’s done nowadays?

Is that enough for you?

Should you keep that energy around?

These are valid and necessary questions to ask yourself sometimes.

Especially when you are trying to do something that is totally against the grain. Something that you are building from scratch. It is not just a clock in and clock out kinda lifestyle.

Most times you end up with people that understand nothing about what your doing or why you are doing it. Good thing you are not doing it for them. Because boy oh boy would that pressure be tough or what? Having to please everybody else, including you!

Worrying about how you do things or move your life around to fit people in.

People that are important but currently not more important than your immediate family and goals.

If this can’t be respected, encouraged or understood from the opposing party.

You my friend are in for a bit of a tougher road. Best way too put it.

Sometimes there comes a day when people want to do something for themselves and unfortunately there is no room for extra.

It’s strictly family and work until a goal is met and a break can be given.

For the first time your doing something for yourself.

Go you!

Has this happened to you or happening?

Because I completely know how you feel.

In fact we could not be on more of the same wave link as we are with this.

You see, there are time frames on things in life.

Even life itself.

There are time frames in our teenage years, the mistakes we make and learn from.

Then the decade of our twenties which we end up enduring a lot of experience.

Then when you finish up with the end of your twenties you branch into your thirties.

Here is when you are thinking a lot more about the deeper things in life.

Not saying that this is everyone. But, you have to admit this explanation is pretty average.

Now thinking deeper could be encouraged from settling down for a long period of time with your spouse and creating a family.

Seeing the importance of so much we take for granted.

Understanding how quickly time goes by and the value we throw away by not utilizing the time more wisely.

You and everyone else, is not a qualified recipe.

You are your own ingredients and everyone else is their own formula.

It important to remember when you branch out and start following the path you want and life you deserve. That you simply go after it.

It’s vital to not allow anyone to devalue that or misunderstand the importance of it too you.

Do not rearrange your goals and priorities. This is the first mistake that so many make when they think they can do it all.

Don’t get me wrong, there are probably a lot of you reading this that manage all the things that life throws at you.

Let me ask you something, “How’s that going?”

It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to prioritize and completely cut people out.

It’s your life. Your terms.

Friends if you have people in your circle that don’t understand what your fighting for or what your dealing with in your life.

It’s okay. It’s not their responsibility to know or understand.

It is up to you if you want to share it.

It’s up to you if you want to include those that actually help you thrive and if they do.

Just be sure you keep your environment positive and encouraging for your path.

Because I know to well, it does not take much to break someone that is already feeling broken.

If you are someone that is reading this and dealing with an individual who might not be around much.

Show them love, show them grace, ask them what’s wrong.

Understand that if you know them, you’ll know they aren’t hiding for any reason other than a valid one.

God bless and thanks for reading my thoughts today friends.

Now go out and do that thing, for you.

Do you know these things about yourself?

The other day while browsing for material to read and gander at. An article came across that was so riveting it had me actual spend some time searching for some personal answers.

Things that in reality are really important to know about yourself. Even if that means you spend a decade figuring it out, which of course I never hope that on anyone.

Eventually the questions that deserve answers will be found.


Why these Questions?

Well, this is a very valid point as to why the list here is even going to exist.

Reflection my friends.

See, by doing this one-act a minimal amount of time every single day can literally transform your perspective.

Friends if you can alter your perspective and get a grasp on managing that. Well, your on your way to much bigger things then you can even imagine.

Reflection leads to Perspective.

No, this might not be a fact nor have I even tried looking that up. But, I am someone who believe in logic and when I say things out loud if they make sense logically they probably just make sense.

So my point is when I say that little sentence, “Reflection leads to Perspective.”

I am saying that merely because for me, it works. So I figured why in the world would I not share such a valuable and helpful piece of advice that has actually benefit me.


Lets transform Together

Sometimes for people doing things alone can be not just scary but, it can literally stop that person from actually doing it.

Fear is not to be underestimated and also not to be judged.

It’s so vital in today’s age we reach out, we lend a hand and we show grace for everyone.

With the diversity that has been created through all the negativity, it is more important not than it ever has been, too come together.

If you feel inside your gut that the person you are looking at needs some encouragement or a hug. Give them love, give them what they deserve as a human being.

Let’s just remember one things before we move forward.

Once Mark Twain said these words and quiet honestly there might not be anything more powerful or fitting for what we deal with in today’s world.

“KINDNESS IS THE LANGUAGE WHICH THE DEAF CAN HEAR AND THE BLIND CAN SEE.”

What a powerful perspective right?


TIME TO GET HONEST & TO THE POINT

Whether you like it or not, you are like no one else

It is important that the first thing you know about yourself is that your unique and beautifully made.

Whatever weird thing you are into your allowed. You are aloud to be however corky you want.

You can dance in the street with short and sandals in the middle of winter. If that is what you want to do! You might freeze your rear off but, you will be you!

So take the time to sit down, really embrace and fall in the fact that you are the only you on the planet.

So gosh darn-it smile about that.

You are Loved

Some days can be tough. So tough, that some people actually think about ending their life.

The lack of expression in love is harming our society.

The importance of understand, appreciating and knowing with conviction that you are loved.

Now I have no idea who you have in your life or who you hold close. In fact the people you do might be harming you in ways you don’t even understand. We will get to that.

Remember that even when you have no body and there is not a soul around, at the moment. I would encourage you to do one thing, walk to the mirror and take a hard look at you.

Look hard. Tell yourself, “I love you.”

In moments of desperation and feeling low or not loved. It’s important to remember that we are allowed to love ourselves and that it is more powerful than anyone else ever-loving you.

Does being loved feel good? Of course.

Does it solve your problem of feeling loved? Maybe.

If that person were to go or simply when they do, what then? Who will love you then?

Do you see the importance of, self-love?

Know this about yourself my beautiful friend. Loving you first and knowing how to love yourself is truly filling.

The encouragement to try is massive.

Power of Perspective

Okay now these things that are being listed might seem strange or simply unorthodox too you. That is honestly 100% okay and you can continue the read and find value or not.

The idea here is to give perspective.

This being the third on the list which was intentional. Third time is a charm is literally why I went with it.

Perspective to me is charming. It literally changes lives and is powerful enough to alter someone complete lifestyle.

Is that crazy? Of course it sounds crazy but, if you back it up with hard work after placing the perspective where it goes.

You guys! You can learn so dang much more about yourself when you learn to shift perspective.

Will you nail it every time? Probably not. I hope you do but, in reality we all have to fail a shit load of times before we even win once.

Is it worth putting the effort into actually training your mind? YES! A million times yes!

Think about it and perhaps come back and we can chat thru commentary and be genuinely real with one another.

Abraham Lincoln said, “We can complain that rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” 

Perspective.

Figuring out Passion

Whew! This one is tough for a lot of people. Some are blessed to figure out they are made to build rocket ships when they are 5 years old.

Some are sixty and have literally never discovered one passion they had.

Could you imagine living a life without a passion for one thing?

I mean even the simplest of a passion for tea or your kids..

Passion can be found with anything and that is what is so incredibly magical about it. You get to decide your indefinite love for something.

The one things you will not negotiate on or give up.

You know that is inside of you, right? You know that there is some type of fire living inside that is burning.

SO if you get frequent stomach aches or feel  low for no apparent reason. Truth is something is trying to come out.

Sit with yourself and try to dig it out, try and find the thing you can not live without.

Because once passion is discovered, success isn’t far when you put in the work. Success does not need to be money or fancy things,

Success thru passion can simply be having a healthy family that laughs and enjoys life every single day. For some, that is all they will ever need and all they can not live without.

True Capability

Did you know that the human brain has the memory storage which is equivalent of more than four terabytes on a hard drive?

That is intense and insane to actually think about.

Can you imagine if we actually used all that storage and filled it with things that are feeding our brains instead of stealing energy from it with doubt or bad food?

You are incredibly capable of anything you put your mind to. I know that sounds cliché and all but it’s the truth.

What we tell ourselves becomes our reality and our reality becomes what we live.

Gross. Who wants to live anything other than a happy and full life?

You deserve to live your best life. You deserve to fulfill your dreams and aspirations.

Give yourself the chance to find your true capability by challenging yourself.

By doing so time after time you will surely figure out your capabilities that are strong or weak. You do not need to be good at everything you just need to know that your capable of them.

Believe in yourself and the rest will follow.

You are your company

Keeping this short and sweet.

Knowing your environment is crucial.

Why? There is a saying and I would be surprised if you had not heard it or read it.

“You are the average of the FIVE people you spend the most time with.”

Now can I claim this is fact? Well surely I personally can’t but, if you think hard about it. It makes total sense.

You are in control of this and it’s up to you too decided how much you value your environment and the impact it makes on you.

If your okay with average, that’s great! Because that is apart of you.

Do you understand? Are you really letting this sink in?

The power YOU have with the proper set up, creates endless possibility.

Doesn’t that sound, so good?

So give it a shot, really put effort behind this. Think long and hard about how you want your life to be.

Once you narrow that down you are on your way to filtering your environment.

Giving space for people and things that humbly help you launch forward.

Sounds good, yeah?

You’ll never know until you try.

You are stronger than your Anxiety

 

Friends, if you are reading this it is most likely because, you struggle from Anxiety.

What form? I personally am not sure that it matters. Anxiety is a monster and no matter the size of a monster it is still a monster.

Suffering from Anxiety can be numbing and it can literally stop life for some. Debilitating is what word I would use.

Now, in this topic I feel like sharing a personal background story can help you understand why I am sharing these tips and where they come from.

Four years ago you would never see me worry about anything. I was carefree and the world was my oyster.

I definitely did not worry when I left my house to go grocery shopping or enjoy some hiking in the woods by myself.

Three years ago I got pregnant on purpose and not much changed in the carefree department until I was about 6 months along.

Things started to obviously come up in thought and i would ponder on things for the future. That is where I think the heat first started warming the water.

After our daughter was born and we relished in the newborn stage. Roughly around 8-9 months old I was doing a photoshoot for my daughter and long story short, three men honed in on us and it triggered the Anxiety that lived inside of me.

The anxiety we all have but takes something to trigger it on.

That experience and scare did it for me clearly.

After that day I have truly never been the same and my anxiety lives with me every single day. 

Except more recently over the last year, new anxieties will flare up over things I never knew existed. 

Now, what I can tell you is living with anxiety is possible. Managing it is the job.

When you suffer from Anxiety it is crucial to teach yourself to identify the root. What triggers it and why? How can you harness that issue and can you work thru it? Is it something that is so debilitating that you feel like you cant move? Try lifting your foot, just try. See what happens. If you fall, get back up and try again. Crawl if you have to but, do not give up.

Anxiety WILL steal everything from you if you allow it. Just remember you have the control. These are your feelings and you can stop the anxious by possibly using one or all of these tips.

Some may resonate with you and some might be an absolute non negotiable choice. That is completely up to you and I respect that.

But I truly believe and obviously it is merely my opinion and view from experience that you are capable of working thru this. You are stronger than your anxiety.

Sharing My Personal Anxiety Tips

TALK / COMMUNICATE / THERAPY

Figuring out what you need to talk about is always helpful but far from necessary.

You do not need a quick explanation to reach out for someone too talk to. All you need to do is communicate that you need to talk.

When you sit down to discuss the issues you are facing, remember you have no reason to hide anything. This is a chance to release and confine in someone. This could be an opportunity to discover a solution. Do not sway away from any urge to reach out and talk with someone.

No matter the size of the Anxiety, you should never sit alone in it.

Being an open book for someone does not come easy to everyone and for that there is always journaling. Which we will get to.

Just know that when you are ready or if your seeking it now, talking to someone is extremely therapeutic and can have massive positive impact. Especially if you are talking to the right person.

Which is also something that is really important to always keep in mind.

Breath

WebMD states here that these specific techniques can help alleviate the anxiety. Take a peek if your interested in their article.

Now the basics of breathing is not what I am referencing. Breathing comes in multiple ways and can actually be used for many purposes.

Birth, Sex, Running and even your friendly panic or anxiety attack. Amongst im sure other purposes.

Breathing can be a weapon against Anxiety and the sooner we learn to use it, the quicker we can alleviate the anxiety when it attacks.

Deep breaths that are intentional and calm. Breaths that flow up the nose and fill the chest. Only to suck in the stomach and breath out the mouth to exhale all the tension/anxiety coming from the chest.

I like to imagine my chest being the filter for my breath that is accompanied by anxiety.

To imagine that when you exhale and convince yourself that your anxiety has been filtered every time you take that deep breath.

The more deep and calm breathing you do the more the anxiety is filtered until you feel cleansed to move forward. Keep breathing.

Write / Journal

Writing is not for the faint of hearts but, journaling can be for anyone.

When writing is viewed in my eyes it is seen as a public post. When journaling is thought of, its pictured as a more private experience.

Can that be claimed as a fact? Probably not but, it honestly makes complete sense to me personally.

Now for some people writing is the option they choose when they want to be heard publicly. When you hear about someone journaling or perhaps you are a individual that does journal you think of private thoughts or perhaps a diary.

The journals with the twain wrapped around them or the little girl diaries you would get as a child with the silly keys.

Journaling is a personal experience and just is not intended to be shared. Which is absolutely okay and healthy. If you get it out of your head onto paper, it has a better shot at finding a place of peace.

Now if you have the gumption to write, then you are sure to get feedback.
Not everyone wants that and I actually completely understand. Not everyone has nice things to say and when you are sharing vulnerable feelings, the last thing you want to read or hear is something negative or off setting.

So, know where you want to be. Figure out if your anxiety is something you want to share or not. Public with feedback or private with a word release. Remember that putting thoughts on paper or computer can be a form of therapy.

Ernest Hemingway once said, “Write Hard and clear about what hurts.”

PRAYING

Now, I know this is not a space for everyone and that is completely okay.

But if I did not share this portion, I would not be my genuine self.

When we write I believe we should portray who we are genuinely the best we can thru words.

Praying can come in different practices and can be done literally anywhere.
Taking a moment sometimes to talk to God and to elaborate your feelings can truly be therapeutic.

Not everyone has someone they can turn to when they are low, feeling an attack approach or already present.

If you are open too a practice like this and talking to God but, have not done so yet. I would encourage you to simply just try.
See, naturally when you just get things off your chest and tell someone it feel good. (Most times)

Who better to tell than, God.

If this is not something you practice then perhaps do this.

Go outside, look up and take a gander at the beauty around you when you begin to feel anxious. Breath in the fresh air and realize your reality is what you create.

The beauty around you can be even more magical when, you use it for self-healing. Embracing the sunshine or even the cold winter.

Be grateful. Stay humble and remember that being stronger than your anxiety is hard but, not impossible.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with your wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

Hangry Hannah

Always Hungry.

The Godly Chic Diaries

BY GRACE THROUGH FAITH

Less Than More

journey to the little things