Do you remember the days when you would get up at hit the road with your pals? The endless road trips and memories created. But mostly, do you remember not having cell phones with GPS? When we had one person holding the giant paper map to navigate where the hell you were going. If you never did this its either because you never took a road trip needing a map or you were born once GPS was carried around in our hands at all times.
I can remember when I took my first road trip to California from Washington state and I was nineteen years old. The details aren’t important outside of remembering to hold up a huge paper map and navigate. For someone who failed geography, I should not be in charge of navigation. But, we got there and I actually did a pretty good job! So anyways I thought perhaps I was not alone in the era of paper maps.
Sitting here the other day and wondering what I was doing. Not just with my moment but, with my writing and my podcast. Basically, what is my goal and how will I get there? I began to panic a bit because for someone that stays at home all day and brings in no income can easily feel like they are failing at life. When you see people just having a simple 9-5 job and idolizing the independence they can feel.
Even tho I know that raising my daughter is seriously an important responsibility and privilege. But, if you feel like I do I am sure that little explaining is needed. For those of you that can not relate, perhaps reading on you will be able to.
I have spent the last year writing and trying to learn this blogging world. I know that the never-ending blogging world is always shifting and changing. So much to learn and take in when you want to move forward with success. I mean I literally have nobody to actually sit here and teach me properly. Lots of people think they can teach but, it takes a specific character and amount of patience to teach someone. Basically, I am self-taught with everything and somedays I doubt my abilities. I doubt that I will ever be able to narrow down just what I will offer readers to create some type of career from writing. Will I write an e-book? Will I teach courses? Will I create templates or simply sell stock photos? I mean I suppose I could write for other people and make posts about topics to get short-term pay. But, let us be real if you are like me and you are trying to make something from nothing then I bet you are feeling what I am saying.
I might sort of be all over the place but, if you have never read anything of mine before I can sometimes have a squirrel type attention span.
So badly I feel this thing inside of me that wants to scream. I don’t know if that even makes sense but, its there and its real. The feeling is powerful and big. Sometimes I feel like my brain is so busy it is hard to organize my thoughts and then I get worried I won’t move forward because I am completely unorganized. Not on purpose but simply because I am doing my best and I really have no help figuring it all out. Which honestly is totally okay, its just a bit harder and might take me a little longer to figure it all out.
In all honesty, if I did things the traditional way it would probably be easier but, that is far from who I am.
Writing is absolutely where I belong. Podcasting is a place my personality can be heard and not just read. Between the two I really hope to reach all arrays of individuals and pray that I can inspire them or encourage. Perhaps when they listen they or you can feel not so alone by tuning in with myself and my co-host or simply by reading something I have written.
I mean, am I alone? Are you feeling anything that I feel? Do you wish when you sit at your desk that maybe you could just view the ocean or even better be at home in your pajamas loving on your littles with no stress about anything because, you just don’t need too anymore, for whatever reason?
I see so many moms in the world that pull together these incredible communities of people together. Creating a business along the way and that is what I intend to do. I have no idea how, I have no clue if I am even in the right vehicle to get there but, I won’t give up.
This feeling to be a part of something big, to create and feel like I am living my best life by including hundreds of thousands of people all around the world! I hope that my writing and podcasting is what does that for me because I feel it in every fiber of my being its where I belong. I know that with all of this can come other opportunities and that is also something I hope for.
Some days I just feel really lost only because I don’t have the answers and that makes me feel less in control of what the hell I am doing. Are you like that?
Feeling conflicted between the good and bad angel on my shoulders. One telling me to give up on what I am working towards and the other one telling me that I am magnificent and capable of all things.
Obviously, I am a badass and choose to push thru the garbage. But I mean I am only human. So are you, so don’t beat yourself up when you stumble because, failures are one thing I have learned that actually are the mold to holding the success together. What we learn NOT to do, is what helps us leap forward with what too do. Make sense?
Anyways, perhaps you can give this a like or a comment if you to have ever felt doubt or lost in your path. Trying to figure out what the hell you are doing with, what you are doing.
Don’t give up. You will get there. Its inevitable if you walk the road long enough you arrive to the destination.
BY GRACE THROUGH FAITH
journey to the little things
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